July 14th, 2005
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As the title subtly suggests, I’m back from my four day excursion to Scotland. No more shoddy Internet Cafe’s which don’t have Firefox Although I promised an update yesterday, I was literally knackered, what with travelling, and seeing S in Preston. I love her to bits, but she is an energy sucking black hole! I dunno why, but I always feel tired when I’m with her (one of the reasons we probably split up, but we won’t go into the fine points ;) ). Anyway, it was cool seeing her before the wedding, and we went to Starbucks and to a random pub. The random pub had a pinball machine! How cool is that?

Firstly – the night out on Saturday. I’m not going to bore you with the details, but two Irish girls came down and sat by up, and I blame my brother why I didn’t pull one of them. Although I was pissed off with him, truth be told I probably wouldn’t of, as I am generally inept with women (ask S how we got together, and it’ll prove it). The fact that another group of Irish girls (who were a lot less attractive, one of which smelt like a chimney, which is the biggest turn off ever) came and kept us company, and I did nothing to pull them also emphasised my ineptness.

Anyway, onto the good news: I had a really good time! The highlight of the holiday had to be Tuesday. Scotland – and particularly Edinburgh – was the hottest place in the country. A “Quality” daily newspaper run the story the only way they knew how: with a bikini photoshoot in the centre of town.

I think it was Michelle Marsh (I’m not too great with names – I only say that because a scottish dude beside me said “Aye…that’s Michelle Marsh, that is”. Either way, I remember feeling a bit dissappointed, as the girl was a hell of a lot shorter than I imagined. In fact, I was really dissappointed, like all your childhood dreams go up in smoke. Kind of like the feeling you have when you find out there is no Santa Claus.

Anyway, it only went on for 10 minutes, and I am still none the wiser. Anybody see this shoot, or the results of it?

As previously mentioned – yet denied by Razorhead – Haggis is gorgeous. For the unaware, it is a mixture of meat and root vegetables traditionally cooked in a sheep’s stomach lining (however I think nowadays they cook it in sausage skin). I had the vegetarian haggis, which was similar, except the meat was replaced with oats, and it was really, really nice. Although I didn’t eat much of it (I was sharing it with my dad). It’s not served as pictured below, it’s served open on a plate.

Finally, here are some pictures I took:-

Fuckstone Terrace: A road near where we stayed. By posting this, I’m removing the right to win £20 from FHM. Be fucking greatful!

My brother’s horrible new polo shirt. Also included (but not seen) is a pink drawstring bag. No wonder we think he’s gay!

Anyway, that’s your lot for today. I’m going over to a mates house (which my mate doesn’t know about that….yet) to stay before his wedding tomorrow. Should be fun, and I can drink some proper lager (Tennants – a Scottish Lager – whilst nice, goes through you like a JBL clothesline).

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