Tomorrow is my graduation from Liverpool University. As Tom McRae once sang “If they gave degrees, for cheating destiny. Then man, I’ve got a first.”. Unfortunately, they don’t. So I’ll have to make do with my BSc 2:1 in Computer and Multimedia Studies. A couple of things to be note for my graduation.
Firstly, she’s also getting a degree. I don’t like honourary degrees, it kinda belittles the rest of us. No doubt she’ll get a speech and a fucking standing ovation, whereas I’ll be restricted to my “light clapping”. Three years I worked for my degree! I deserve at least my own WWE style theme music*, cheers and name chanting. If you are at least going to give an honourary degree to someone, please make sure that 90% of the graduates have heard of them, like Roy Walker, or Jon from Big Brother, anybody!
If she gets a degree, then I reckon I should be made a dame.
Secondly, I’m not known as the neatest person. My handwriting is shit, and if I put a come through my hair in the morning, it’s a miracle.
Tomorrow however, I’m up at the crack of dawn, all ready to look smart (though I’m not doing my hair, it’ll be under a mortarboard, won’t it?). I will be wearing my Welsh tie though, nothing like flying the flag, eh?
After the ceremony, which goes on for ages (I can imagine it being like the swimming galas from when you were in primary school if you couldn’t swim and therefore had to race the “float” race right at the end of the gala, however I cannot imagine graduating in speedos) we’ve got a champagne reception in our depatment, then a unnofficial beer reception in Barracuda with myself and Ian. Some time between that point I’m planning on getting changed into my clubbing wear, which may or may not include a “Kiss me I’ve graduated” badge. Dunno if I’ll let my parents see my house, as I don’t think they’d appreciate the fine form of my Sophie Howard poster quite as much as I do.
Finally, this story drew attention to me. The reason being was that me and Guy did participate one of these auctions. We left shortly after it started, when Guy won a manicure kit (it got thrown to him). However, the advice remains the same: if it is too good to be true (and not a ticket to Edinburgh) then it probably is.
* Incidentally, if I did have my own WWE style theme music, it would be “I Can Climb Mountains” by Hell is for Heroes.