February 21st, 2006
Categories: Uncategorized

Liar, Liar, Chip Pan Fire


It appears though this blog has suffered an invasion, not seen since the days of “Your Mum/Your Dad/Your brother/Sarah’s an ugly lesbo” Fletcher’s invasion of 2005, which was – to be honest – the most pointless invasion since Vietnam.

However, this invasion as such is from my housemates who – unlike previous attempts, make valid comments. I make no apology that occassionally I exaggerate things, and an entry a couple of posts back is no exception. As I said, I make no apologies about it, as it usually adds drama, or if I think I can get a cheap laugh, then I ‘modify’ the story. They do this all the time in hollywood, Cool Runnings would of been crap if they didn’t have the US coach who cheated, and the fact that the Jamaican bobsleigh team was rubbish, and didn’t stand a chance.

My post raised the attention of Guy and Tom, casual readers of the site, who pointed out some untruths with my article. This post is a response to their queries.

Tom: “i was at the football dude, get it right! Just becase you’re jealous” Yes, and no. Tom did spend Valentine’s night at the football. However, the said event actually occurred on the 13th Feburary. The story wouldn’t of been nowhere near as funny if it was 13th Feburary. Of course, on the 13th, Tom did rehearse for his play.

However, I didn’t credit Tom being at the football because, well, he’d only gloat about it. He’s still boasting about being at the Third Day of the Fourth Test and seeing that catch and that run out and that Shane Warne golden duck. If you don’t watch cricket it’d mean nothing to you. But he is right, yes I was jealous. Hence the changing from football to rehearsal.

Guy: “being asked to open a jar of, and i do believe im right in this, thousand island dressing was a new one on me!!” I was wrong, but Guy was wrong. It wasn’t mayonnaise, but it wasn’t thousand island dressing. It was in fact seafood sauce. Mayonnaise sounded funnier (as it’s the sauce of the comedian), and you’ve got the whole innuendo side of things (none of which is funny, or indeed that relevant, or that well known except from that dark area inside my mind).

Tom: “Oh, and please make it known that i play the part well due to my stunning acting ability, not the fact im just a bit pouffy” That’s true, he is a great actor, but he’s also a bit poofy.

So, yeah, I’m not going to to this again, as it’s a bit dull. The only thing you need to take from this entry is that, yes, like my 12 inch penis, a lot of this site is exaggerated. But it’s done to make you happy.

Surely that’s not a bad thing.

In other news, I got an email back from the speed dating. Two matches, woohoo!!!

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