February 19th, 2006
Categories: Uncategorized

On Speed


I was planning a quiet night, I really, really was. Alas no, instead I recieved a text at around 5 from Ian, who’s up for the weekend to see the Liverpool vs. Man U game. I haven’t seen him since August, so – even though I was knackered – I agreed to meet him in the AJ’s, and then in the Gilmour bar in the University.

This is when it gets wierd. You see, we’re in the midst of recruitment season, and the Guild is awash with studenty people trying to recruit us for one thing or another. Pokerroom.com is holding a Student Texas Hold ‘em tournament, they were there last night. People who were getting people to vote for them in the Guild elections were there. But the one that interested us most was this Moby lookalike, who sat down at our table.

“Hey guys!” He said, in a very unMoby voice. “Fancy a speed dating evening? It’s free and there’s a free pint at the end of it.”

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sold to begin with, it was only a long chat with Ian looking over the benefits (free pint, chance of a shag, and I’d be lying if I said that both me and Ian didn’t both say “it’s something to blog about”), we thought “fuck it, lets go!”

Speed dating, for the unaware, is a fairly new thing. Instead of going on a date for a whole evening, you instead go on 20 ‘dates’, each lasting 2 minutes each. You don’t tell the people that you like them or not, instead judge them on whether they were interested or uninterested and submissive or dominant (yes, if you’re thinking “oohhooo, bondage!”, you’re not the only one). And then a tick or a cross in the box saying either “yes” or “no”. Should there be a match (they say yes and you say yes) then an email is sent giving the names, emails and other kinks of the match (or matches, if you are able to hypnotise people). As it was part of physcology experiement, our height, weight and fingerprints were taken as well. We also had to say whether we were wearing any cologne (other than BO) and had previously drunk some alcohol (which was a resounding yes for me).

I can’t really remember too much of the night, as I had been in the pub before that, nevertheless there are a few things that stood out to me. Firstly was they were nearly all medics. My mum would say “good breeding material”, but as a former Engineering student (albeit Electrical Engineering, and albeit practically Computer Science), I’m legally required to hate medics. It must of gotten boring for the girls to hear “another medic!”. I certainly was a little bored talking about tracheas, fibulas and areolas.

A few people were from near where I lived, one was from Llangefni which is slap bang in the centre of Anglesey (a place I get confused with Rhoesneigr, for some reason), one was from Conwy and one was from Bryn-Y-Maen. I felt I did bond with them, largely due to the typical “England Sucks, Wales Rules” conversation, and also on the topic of “how shit is Broadway?”.

Another one I did actually bond with was this Sri Lankan girl. Basically, I’m very honest, and I told her that “The only things I know about Sri Lanka are they have a cricket team and they got hit by a tsunami.”. Lucky for me it turns out she knew a fair amount about cricket. Tom would be pleased.

An hour and a half later, we finished. We collected our free pint and congregated in the bar, talking about the experience. A few people mocked me for going. To them, I say fuck off. It was a hell of a lot of fun, and – I thought – it raised the confidence in speaking to random girls. That was until last night in Walkabout, when I saw a really pretty girl, and was too shy to say owt to her. Shame.

I’ll let you know if I get an email back. So far there’s been nothing, but they probably put it off for the weekend.

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