April 29th, 2006
Categories: Uncategorized

Harrogate Flower Show


As I mentioned yesterday, today me and my mum went to the Harrogate Flower Show. I gave myself so much hope that there’d be a funfair, a decent beer tent with Sky Sports, or some other little gimmick to impress me. Unfortunately not, and I was bored out of my tits.

I was in a horrible mood today on the bus, moaning about everything. I think it’s something about Yorkshire. A little bit of Sarah has rubbed off on me, calling it the “Wrong Side of the Pennines”. The best thing about Yorkshire in my opinion is the fantastic transport links to (and especially from) football grounds. I saw three of them on my journey: Britannia Stadium of Stoke City*, Alfred McAlpine Stadium of Huddersfield Town and Elland Road of Leeds, and all without leaving a major motorway.

I suppose people would want to leave quickly.

So yeah, I was bored bollockless in the show. I think it says a lot about the age range of the people attending when under 25′s get in for £5. I was by far the youngest person there. My mum, at 50, was the second youngest person. As such, I felt out of place amongst the blue rinsers. I took to amuse myself the only way I knew how, look up all the rude names for flowers. There were quite a few (and every one of these are genuine):-

  • Gay Parasol
  • Spunky Suprise
  • Gaybum Widespreader
  • Bell Straddler
  • Golden Shower
  • Woody Stroker
  • Puckered Star
  • Prickily Pleasurer (which is the plant to the right)
  • I’m not sure if you’ll see them in a garden centre with those names, and I know nothing about plants, so I can’t give you some hot tips or anything like that. All I can say is that if you’re male, 18-31 and heterosexual, you’ll probably not enjoy this place, as even the beer tent is a bit poo. Go to Alton Towers or something like that. That being said though, was a fun day spent with my mum, just me and her being silly, so I enjoyed that. There are a few more stories to tell, but that’s for another time.

    Tomorrow I’m heading to the Llandudno Show. Now this is a proper show, with funfairs and coconut shies and things like that. I know two things tomorrow. I will get a headache, and Llandudno Show will dick all over the Harrogate Show.

    * I’m well aware Stoke is not in Yorkshire, but nevertheless, I saw it from the motorway.

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