Your Head A Splode

April 11th, 2006 by Rhys

A few years ago, a friend of mine at the time asked me what I thought about this story. “Being a fatso,” he said to me, ever so kindly, “do you think you should be charged more to use the NHS?”

I had the best retort, and I said to him sternly: “Listen, I’ve never been to hospital, and haven’t been to the doctors for seven years*. You’ve had two knee operations because you play football, which was paid for by the NHS. Why should I pay more? Surely you should?”

He shut up after that.

But yeah, I admit that - despite being on the portly side, I’m generally not too bad physically. I have a 45 minute, 5 times a week walk to (and in some cases from) work every morning which baffles pretty much everybody in work. It’s not exactly hard. On top of that, I don’t have any diseases or genetic conditions, and I do have almost perfect hearing and 20/20 vision, I’m in pretty good nick.

On surfing Fark.com this afternoon though, I found something that I’ve always considered normal to actually be a genetic condition.

I have Head Exploding Syndrome

Even though I should not trust Fark.com for medical advice, it seems pretty legit. Hell, it even has it’s own Wikipedia article. However, it’s not something cool, like a Mortal Kombat fatality, nor some weird name for an ejaculatory problem (if certain people say “yeah, it’s an ejaculatory problem, too early for you Rhys!” they will be slapped)

You see, every night since I can remember I can remember I hear a loud explosion before falling asleep. I’ve always assumed it as one of those things, and never really talked about it. Turned out it’s a condition though, and a syndrome at that. A syndrome! How cool is that?

Now, the only reason I am saying that is that because of “syndromes”, I drew the longest of the long straws. There are no obvious effects with Exploding Head Syndrome, except than the loud gunshot explosion before falling asleep.

I could be making this up, as there’s no way to prove that I have EHS, so you’ll have to take my word for this. Anybody else got any syndromes with fancy names that are harmless?

* I have since been to the doctors, but that was for a check up, and they said I was fine.

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