May 6th, 2006 by Rhys

In the past week, we’ve seen the appointment of Steve McLaren as the new England manager. He will take over from the current coach, Sven Goran Eriksson, following this summer’s World Cup, which is only 34 days away. Following the appointment, there have been cries of “farce!”
, in that it’s been over 3 months since Sven quitted, and it’s been the worst possible time to name Sven’s replacement: too far after an immediate naming of somebody, and it’s too soon to the World Cup. Even as a Welshman, I do have an interest in it.

Why? Because they didn’t pick me.

You see, last February, I started writing letters to various people , as a way to alleviate the boredom of my job at the time. One of which was The FA, asking to be considered for the position of Manager on the basis that I’ve won the World Cup with Portugal and led Wales to the quarter-final of the World Cup……in Football Manager. Admitedly, I haven’t won the Carling Cup (like McLaren, his only piece of silverware), even on Football Manager. Nevertheless I wanted to be considered for the job.

Why would I want the job? Simple. I want to bring it down from within. I’d play Rooney in goal*, Heskey up front**, Ryan Giggs on the wing*** and Dixie Dean in defence****. I’d make sure we’d play Wales in a friendly, and I’d throw the match. Sure, England would hate me, and Sarah would never speak to me again. But I’d be a hero in my native Wales. That’s all that matters.

Unsuprisingly, I didn’t get the job. However, I did expect a response (anybody who have worked for a major organisation will know that any letter that comes into an organisation must be answered. No matter how ridiculous it is. Reason being it can be damaging if it’s not). As of today, 2 days after the appoinment was named, and 2 months after English FA recieved my letter, I haven’t heard anything. So, in my opinion, the FA is an organisation that everybody says it is. Unorganised, rubbish, and up their own arses.

* He’s an attacker

** He’s shit

*** He’s Welsh

**** He’s dead

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[...] I don’t know when I am going with it, it was a nice twist to the end of a fairly dull season (Chelsea’s dominance is getting a bit boring now), and hopefully some justice will come from this. Tottenham have taken some tests on the food, and - seeing there’s no foul play - they will probably launch some action against the FA (for loss of revenue, as The FA didn’t cancel the game like they should of. More bumbling from the FA eh?). That being said, the UEFA Cup could be a blessing in disguise for Tottenham, with such a strong team, I wager a guess they will do awesomely in it. [...]


 
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