Sex, Drugs and Mario Kart

May 15th, 2006 by Rhys

Willy Enhancers. They’re bloody everywhere these days. For some people, they want bigger willies, longer willies, willies that can go around corners, and there is apparently a market out there, the amount of garbage I get every day. Luckily, Thunderbird blocks most of them (you should use it, as Outlook users are known to support Nazi’s). However, the odd one escapes through the net, and violates my inbox. Today was such a day.

Right. 1 is a given, as I think we all want that. 5 is just being arrogent amongst loose women, which I’m not sure what for. 4 can be done, providing her “dreams” are not “Make England Win The World Cup”. 2 is a bit odd as it depends on “ze list” (sorry, it reminds me of that bit from Dads Army: “You will go on ze list! Vat is your name” “Don’t tell him Pike!”. Oh ho ho. Anyway, I digress.). But 3 is just odd.

Now, the only thing that I really time is my performance in video games. As such, I have a legendary status on Mario Kart. These times will show that:-

Also, despite scoring 1′06′16″ on Mario Circuit 1, it hasn’t impressed a lady yet.

However, coming to think about it, the willy-growing spam is right. If I had a girlfriend, and me and her invited all her hot fit mates around for a massive session on Mario Kart, it would be pretty much awesome.

Then again, I’m the same guy who would take a girl on a first date to play Crazy Golf. Is that an awesome idea? Or is it no suprise that I’m single?

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