June 8th, 2006
Categories: Uncategorized

The GATR Guide To The World Cup

 

Ah, it’s finally here. After 4 years of waiting, the world cup is here again, ready for Brazil to dominate, England to complain, and Italians to complain even more. Now, as a Welshman, there really isn’t a team I want to win the world cup, just a lot of teams that I don’t. As such, like Tilesey a few days ago, here’s my guide to supporting the gratest showcase on Earth, as a list of which teams to support and not to support.

This was going to be in a pyramid form, but I couldn’t be arsed. Also, some of you will say “oh ho! Rhys! You’re so going to put England at the bottom!”. You’d be wrong! As ball-achingly unbelievable as it might seem, there are teams I hate more than England. So, on with ze list!

  1. Trinidad & Tobago: I’d love it if they win, just because Wales and Scotland have adopted them, and you can’t get a T&T shirt anywhere because people are buying them (so much so in Scotland, because their forward’s called “Jason Scotland”, hence people north of the border buying them in droves. Fear not, as you can now buy the car flag (link curteosy of Rhys). Also, if they win, Wales beat them in a pre-tournament friendly, so therefore we’d be World Champions.
  2. Brazil: Literally awesome. So it makes you a glory supporter? Just go to England fans in the street “0 World Wars and 6 World Cups”.
  3. The Dutch: Come on, they deserve to win it now. Even though they have Robben and Van Nistlerooy, two of the most hated men in Liverpool, they’ve been so near, so many times.
  4. The Aussies: If their game against the Dutch was anything to go by, they don’t give a shit. They just want to go there, and win, and they don’t care who they go through. Plus they would rub it in England’s noses.
  5. Every other team mentioned in this list
  6. England. Yes, you must be suprised it’s so high.
  7. United States. One reason, Fark.com. Every thread has been turned into a bashing against the beautiful game. Instead of calling it football like the rest of the world, they call it “soccer”. And call Armoured Wank-Ball “Football”. We’ve all heard the arguements, they don’t deserve to win.
  8. France: Because they’re French
  9. Germany: Because they’re Germans
  10. Italy: Because they’re whiny cheating bastards.

Tomorrow, it all kicks off, with Germany vs. Costa Rica. From above, let’s all cheer for Costa Rica!

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