July 26th, 2006
Categories: Uncategorized

Home Alone, Stairway Golf and Sexy Bikini Parties


Last week, I was a bit apprehensive with my mum and dad going away on holiday. Something about me thought that I wouldn’t be able to cope without my mum, that I’d starve to death or something would happen to the dog/plants. But we’re half way through the week and I’m still here! So’s the dog! So’s the plants! Do you know what the best thing is? Now that RIck’s back from Russia and I have some help around here I’m actually beginning to enjoy myself. Whilst we’re not kept under a severe cosh around here there are things that we’re not allowed to do. So we’ve been doing them.

  • Stairway Golf – a game that involved practicing your Sand Wedge shots by propelling a golf ball up a flight of stairs.
  • Dog Curling – Propelling your dog along laminate flooring so that she slides. She wags her tail, she loves it.
  • Dinner Table Talk – Before: “You never guess what I did at work today?”, “Did anybody read that story in the Daily Mail?”, “The house next door but one got valued today….”, Now: “Fuck, Shit, Arse, Wank, Bollocks”
  • No Daily Mail to pollute our minds.
  • Music until late.
  • Peeing with the door open.
  • Using the bannister as a clothesline.
  • Generally, turning a 3 bedroom semi in Welsh suburbia into a house of trouser. I’m thinking about having a Sexy Bikini Party tomorrow night, and you’re all invited. But before that, any other ideas for what I can do?

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