Dear Sexual Karma Fairy,
Quite frankly, I’m a bit narked with all the obsticles you are placing in front of me. Christ, Hugh Hefner I’m sure didn’t experience as much hardship as me, and look who he’s ended up in. First there was wheelchair foot fetish man, which I could tolerate, as it was a hell of a funny thing to blog about, but the endless strains of internet wierdos are beginning to take it’s toll. They all begin the same, “I really, really fancy you!”, but then it degenerates after that. Not all of them are ugly, which I appreciate, and my library of nipples and bums is getting bigger by the week. But mentally they are a bit screwed. I mean seriously, how can I go from “Rhys, I really fancy you” to “Rhys, die in a fire, now, please”, in 20 minutes. Am I really such a dickhead with my flirting that no woman would want to be anywhere near me?
No. It can’t be me. Managed it before, and I’ve had no complaints. I dunno, does this seem to you be a nice comment? Would you never speak to a fancy piece again after this comment? Please SKF, tell me what I’m doing wrong!:-
“So, you’re Welsh*. You a shepherd? ”
“Hehe, I can be. Will you be my Bo Peep? ”
That’s it. No explanation, no “stop it”, just “bye”. She disappeared off my msn contacts list after that, assuming I’m blocked. SKF. What’s wrong with that comment, and what can I do to fix me? Or is it just a cruel game your playing that you are putting me with a bunch of cyber cock-teases?
Rhys A. Wynne, BSc. (Hons)
In other news: My mum has bought “The Andrew Lloyd Webber” collection. A part of me has died inside.
* Interesting side note. When I started going out with Sarah my mate Paul refused to accept that I had a girlfriend, and still called me “Sheep Shagger”. Sarah at which point went by a short lived nickname of “Sheep”. She’ll make a lesbian very happy one day with brilliant humour like that.