September 24th, 2006
Categories: Uncategorized

Best of a Bad Situation, Classy Ladies and Very Tall Lesbians


I’ll be honest, my weekend in Liverpool didn’t start too well. I woke at 6am on Saturday morning, and I’m generally pretty shit at going back to sleep whenever I awake, so I blogged, changed the timestamp so it didn’t look like I woke at stupid o’clock to blog. I then packed, headed off to Liverpool, and about then the weekend started to go a bit iffy.

Bowling was a nightmare, to be honest, it wasn’t the club’s fault.The alley knocked up the prices when we were there and – due to the fact we’d travelled from all over, we had to comply. The alley was hot, noisy and full of kids, and my game showed. I scored a 153 but the next two games I struggled to break 100. I was very hungry, lethargic, and didn’t think much of the weekend so far.

We then got word that we didn’t have somewhere to drop our stuff after the bowling, scuppering a possible night out. After a quick ring around we manage to obtain a place to stay at a friends house, and a night out in Liverpool, what I really wanted. A chinese takeout and a couple of fine ales (Cumberland Ale being the best of the three) later, we were ready to hit Liverpool.

We started out in Old Lloyds playing the drinking game “I have never” – which is ultimately pointless, as the few depraved things I’ve done in my life, I am not shy about.Following that, I headed to see my ex-workmates for a quick drink, before meeting the rest in the Raz. It was there that, well. I got licked.

You see, I was with my mates up on the first floor, when a short brunette came upto me and said “can you take a picture for us?”. Fair enough request I suppose, one snap looked horrible, with TLC (Tall Lesbian Chick – I’ll explain in a bit) doing her best Undertaker impression – rolling her eyes into the back of her head. The second pic was a picture of them kissing. The brunette then said “why don’t you two get a picture together?”, which consisted of TLC licking my left cheek, and me grinning to the camera.

At which point I kinda rued my behaviour with her, without even achnowledging her presence. I **think** she fancied me (hell, you wouldn’t lick just anybody, would you?), but I was kinda taken aback by it. She was taller than me too, fuck’s sake I’m 6’1″, and she was taller than me. Unsuprisingly, I have nothing in my arsenal which lists how to act when a taller lady who is probably a lesbian (according to one of my mates) licks you in a club. Sexual Karma Fairy would be disappointed with me.

Sexual Karma Fiary would be less impressed with the brunette who made the first move. After seeing me reject her friend (I wouldn’t say that, but she came on so strong I was confused), she cornered me.

“Bet you never kissed a girl, have you?”

I was shocked by this, and answer the only way I could “Yes, yes I have actually.”. Jeez, talk about a conversation killer. I usually don’t enquire about my fancypieces previous relationships until at least the third date. Luckily, she broke the conversation ice with a classy line.

“I think I’m going to be sick on you…”

I ran. Quickly.

However, it wasn’t all doom and gloom, I enjoyed seeing my mates for the first time in ages,And the night was one of the best this year, even with the whole TLC thing. Besides, I woke up next to some pussy anyway. Click here to see it. (WARNING: Said pic has me topless in it, so those of a nervous disposition should not look at it!).

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