“Hey boss, I’m ringing in sick today.”
“Oh really. Just how sick are you?”
“I am fucking my sister. Is that sick enough for you?”
You know I said in my last entry that today was going to be a good day? Well, it wasn’t exactly.
At around midnight on Saturday night, I woke up, cold-sweating, dizzy and shaking. Immediately, I thought “fuck this”, and went downstairs to get some water to steady me out. This was not good, not good at all. I lied on my couch, watching all manner of things (Match of the Day had just finished, boo), before heading back to bed. I didn’t sleep until around 4am.
Three hours later, I awoke, nauseous, loss of appetite and sweating. My first thought was obvious. I’ve got it again. But it felt different. Then, everything except my ticker was fine. This was the direct opposite. My heart was around 70ish (perfectly normal), but I just felt like shit. Of course, ending up in hospital had made me a little bit of a hyperchondriac. I knew deep down inside it wasn’t, but I refused to accept that.
After eating a couple of shredded wheat, I collapsed on the sofa, a little exhausted but unable to sleep. Mum appeased me with a fantastic whimsical purchase of Sky Sports, so that’s where I stayed, Chelsea vs. Liverpool, Manchester United vs. Arsenal, Rugby followed by Top Gear. I didn’t move until 8.
I tried a bit of light surfing, but I couldn’t concentrate. Instead, I watched the final half hour or so of Equator, and then had a fairly uncomfortable night. It was however better than the night before, largely due to the fact that my dream involved doing all sorts of unmentionables with Dido.
I woke up at around 6:30 this morning, still feeling a lot worse for wear. Nevertheless, I thought I’d brave work, and I’m so glad I did.
Immediately, my work colleagues did a hell of a lot better job at reassuring me than my mum’s “Snap out of it, you’re 22″ ‘assurances’ are. “Probably the Sun Centre”, they said, “think about it. It’s hot, humid, and all sorts of people have been in there. I wouldn’t think it’s the most cleanest thing in the world. Just have plenty of rest and rehab, and you’ll be fine.”. They also bought me lentil soup. I have the best job ever.
It’s now nearly 8 o’clock. I don’t feel 100% yet, but I do feel a hell of a lot better than I did this morning. Give me another 24 hours or so, and I’ll be back to my best.