Happy St. Ebenezer’s day for yesterday everybody! For the unaware – St. Ebenezer’s day is the first day that Christmas Goods appear on sale in the UK. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas – what with the food and the drink mainly, but September 5th is a bit early. Especially when I saw this abomination in Morissons in Colwyn Bay.
Okay, it is a selection box, which – while quintessentially Christmas (the present you give to people you don’t really like) – it’s not too bad. It’s when those kids adverts begin that really pisses me off. Christmas only begins when two these two conditions are met:-
Either way, it’s not Christmas now! Grrr…..even writing this part of my blog I switched on to Firebox.com to see what I can get my nearest and dearest. It’s a disgrace.
Reason number 19452 to hate Morissons as well is that yestrday I got refused……..for cigarettes.
The tobacconist said I looked 15.
Now, before I begin, I’d like to inform you that I haven’t started smoking. At the risk of restarting this blog’s only flame war, I don’t like the smell, and the damage it causes – even passively. However, one of my mates does smoke. He was in Morrissons carrying about 8 or 9 shopping bags, and he needed some fags. So he asked me to get some. Whilst giving him the usual “It’ll make your penis smaller!” arguement I use on most blokes, he was unrepenting, and asked me to get him some. Fair enough, it was his decision.
I got ID’ed.
I explain the situation that – as I don’t drive and I haven’t been abroad – I don’t have any forms of ID. I do have a Portman Group card. He said we don’t accept it. I then said “they’re for a mate of mine”, which probably wasn’t the best thing to say, as the guy gave me funny looks. Bless him, he looked foreign.
I returned humbly to my mate, who found it hilarious, saying it gave him a high “better than any nicotene could”.
Somehow, the fact he stopped smoking for a little bit, because of my humiliation, makes it all worthwhile.