September 15th, 2006
Categories: Uncategorized

The Seedy Underbelly of Colwyn Bay

 

“Rhys!”, Mum squealed down the phone, “Dog’s run out of treats, could you go to the pet shop to pick up some fishy chews?”. I agreed, by and large because the girl who works in the pet shop is cute. She has a “farm hand” quality about her, which conveys an innocence, yet possibily cheeky quality that is so indearing. She also has massive breasts.

Anyway, off I toddled to get those fishy chews that bonnie goes apeshit over. Pets Shop Girl was there in a black cardigan with a polka dot top , stretched sot it looked more like polka ovals. She smiled, I smiled.

You’d like to believe I asked her out, she said yes, everybody’s a winner. Alas no, she has a boyfriend. I did get propositioned yesterday, but not by her. I did however see this in the shop, which amused me greatly.

nutsacks

The cheeky minx!

So, this proposition. It came after I left the pet shop and was heading back home. I didn’t have my mp3 player with me, so I kinda kept my head up, listening to the aural delights Abergele Road offers yours truly. It was there I heard something I haven’t heard in about six months.

“D’ya want business?”

I turned around, and saw this skanky lady wearing a belt, massive mole on her cheek and a distubringly low cut top smiling a toothles grin back at yours truly. We’ve never had prossies in the Bay before, and certainly not at 1:30pm on a Wedneday afternoon. In my limited experience, early afternoon sex sucks, no matter who you’re with. It’s not quite as awakening as morning sex, but not as down right naughty as late afternoon sex (best time is around 3:30, when the TV was switched on to The Tweenies on Childrens BBC, it fells, so, so naughty). Early afternoon sex, I dunno, doesn’t feel special. On top of that, she was a skank, so I didn’t want knob rot for £20.

Speaking of dodgy Colwyn Bay people, hello to all my fellow loyal Seagulls who have come here from the Official Colwyn Bay Website! You’re probably going to want to read this article, more than my “woe is me, I’m actually still a teenager trapped in a 22 year old’s body!” crap I usually post on here. Still, it’s a nice gesture. I doubt Guy will be getting a link to his Myspace from his precious Chelsea FC Official Site anytime soon!

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