I got bored today, and when I’m bored I’m dangerous. So, to keep me amused between playing Team Fortress Classic (trying to get good before Team Fortress 2 comes out) and Bush talking about his Cash Flow Forecasts (he’s got an accounting exam tomorrow), I did something I’ve been tempted to do for a long time, but never actually done.
I joined an online dating firm.
I know, I know, it’s sounds pretty desperate. I assure you it’s not, I just fancy meetting as many people as possible. Actually, it isn’t so much of a “dating” side of things, more of a social side of things I want to be involved in. I am however a skinflint, so I instead of going for the “pay” side of things, I typed in “free uk dating” into google, and clicked on a few that came up. One of them took my fancy, so I signed up. The first thing was to make sure I didn’t come from certain blacklisted countries….
Luckily, I didn’t (some of those seem strange, oh well. I suppose marrying your cousin isn’t out of the question in all of the above countries). Filled in a few details, upload a photo, and I was ready to go.
Actually, that was a lie. I had to select a number of bands I like, from a choice of around 80. Now, normal people this wouldn’t be a problem, but when you are as selective and indecisive as me, it’s a nightmare! After that, authors, and favourite TV shows. Remember, they didn’t just leave a textbox, oh no. Full on “Here’s what you can select. Anything else and you’re a loser!”. Next sports (which was a fairly easy jaunt – even though I didn’t select “bedroom gymnastics”, it’s just too obvious!). Then you could add “optional categories”…..I tried adding the Mighty Seagulls, but they didn’t have them. One quick letter of complaint later, and I began to browse.
I’ll be honest, nothing was grabbing me by the balls. People were either average and their profile with abundance of text speak let them down, or didn’t have a picture (I’m looking at you “DoubleD83″. Double D? Double chin more like).. Dejected, I signed out.
20 minutes later, I had two emails, from girls who wanted to meet me. Woo! The first one was from a girl in leeds calling herself “theleedsrhino”. Apt name, when she lists her hobbies as drinking, rugby league and darts. I apologise if this is sexist, but by god I like my women to be slightly effeminate.
The second thing I’d like my women to be is intelligent. I’m not talking university degree here, but a basic ability to hold an intelligent conversation is paramount. As bloggers, you all meet that criteria. However, this girl didn’t. Sure, she was attractive, single and lived in Rhyl. But one thing put me off.
She spelt Rhyl as “Ryll”. A number of times.
I’ll think I’ll give this online dating a miss.