November 12th, 2006
Categories: Uncategorized

Back From London Town


Rhys Note:Hey everybody! I have come back from a thoroughly enjoyable holiday. There are hundreds of stories to tell, and I will share some tales on this here blog, not everything I will tell – I forgotten things, and also there are some things I really don’t want to share. However, I have kept a notepad for the past 5 days, there will be guest entries from Celeste and Han. This holiday was a crap start, developing – getting better and better – until a very very brilliant Saturday night. Got you interested? Damn straight. Here is Wednesday’s entry.

I arrived in London at around 2pm. I was slightly early, but check in at the hostel was no problem. I’ll be honest, my room was…rustic. If the walls were a shade of white, I would think it was a prison cell. I was hungry and so I walked to Weatherspoons at the end of my road for some food.

When I went to the bar (like I assumed you’d do in Weathers) to order, I was shunned “Be seated” said the Spanish waitress “Don’t you know anything? We offer a waitress service here!” After the food (which had a bitter aftertaste to the rudeness of the woman), I returned to my room, and used my time effectively, by sleeping for a few hours.

I was awoken by Guy ringing me – he was in Londn for the Chelsea vs.Villa game, and wondering if I’d come for a few pre-match pints. I’d have to get over my fear of the underground, and fast.

Luckily, I did. My first trip was short, a few stops to Paddington, then longer trip to Fulham I was with Guy. I got refused from the first pub we went into (two refusals to serve alcohol within a week….not good!), but we did find a pub. Unfortunately for Guy, it was full of Villa fans. I spent only 15 minutes with them, but I already reckon they’re the most welcoming fans in the premiership.

After my 15 minutes of life as a Villian, I returned to the hostel bar. I’ll be honest, it was a bit like my penis – a lot bigger on the internet than in real life. Nevertheless, they weren’t showing the Liverpool vs. Birmingham game (heathens), so instead I wedged myself beside the pool table – and waited for somebody to talk to me.

It was there I noticed something, every single racial stereotype is true! To quote Avenue Q: “Racial jokes appear uncouth, but you laugh because they’re based on truth.”. The Aussies and the South Africans spend all day drinking, smoking and doing “nudie runs”. The Dutch are a bunch of perverts, Asian women throw off the shackles of supression making the Asian men uncomfortable (think of the relationship between Sun and Yin from Lost season 1) and nobody likes the French. So, in this international hotbed of activity, did I make any friends in far off places?

Well…..there’s Dave. He’s 33, a bricklayer, from Manchester.

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