Let it go on record that I hate Halloween.
It’s something about it – the ASBO kids running around the estate blackmailing you into giving you treats (that line courtesy nicked from a poem by Sarah), the fact that all the way through university you were forced to go out and spend money on shit you throw away November 1st. The fact it signals the beginning of “Lets give over as much money as possible to consumerist crap”, with masks, face paint and god knows what else selling like hot cakes.
A lot can be said for the costumes – in my day it was generally “Witches”, “Vampires” and “Frankensteins” going around. Today it’s scream masks (lazy fuckers), Pirates (why?) or whatever is popular on the telly. I give a damn about this non-entity of a holiday that’s only one place up on the “Cliff Richard Scale of Holidays” than Earth Day. I mean seriously – if you have to work, it’s not a holiday.
If I was king of the world (and here’s hoping), I would make sure Halloween always falls on a Tuesday. Why? So I can go to the pub and watch the football. Thank the lord that last night – the mighty Colwyn Bay Super Blue Seagulls entertained Warrington Town in the cup.
Suprise suprise, we went 1-0 up just after half time, we were never in the game, but a flash of brilliance got us a goal. However, on the 86th minute of what was truly unwatchable football, a Warrington player chipped the keeper sending it to 1-1 and, worse of all, an extra 30 minutes of football. Colwyn Bay went behind on the stroke of half time in extra time, and ended up conceding another at the death to lose 3-1. To be honest, it was a meaningless game in a meaningless cup, so – whilst it would be nice to have a trophy – we weren’t hugely concerned. Well, I wasn’t.
I went home half an hour later than expected, and more than a little tipsy. Turns out that a storm prior to kick off had turned a number of Trick or Treaters away. Long story short – I’ve got a lot of Miniature Heroes to get through, result!
Question of the day: What is the best Halloween costume you’ve ever seen?