As I’m off to Cardiff to see the gorgeous Han for the remainder of 2006 (which reminds me, is there anything I must do in Cardiff? We’re there for two days, and also New Years Eve. A good place to go on New years would be appreciative too – does Cardiff have a Walkabout or a Barracuda?), I’d thought I’d do a quick year in review for 2006. Be warned, this is a long post, and it gets annoyingly mushy towards the end.
So, 2006: What did it do to me? Was it a good year? That kinda thing that’s everywhere at the moment. Only this one has less Jimmy Carr. Re-fucking-joice.
Looking back at January – April, I actually realise how miserable I was. I was doing too much, drinking too much and resting too little. I kinda was the smily, happy Rhys you were accustomed to, but I was not happy. Suppose it didn’t start well with me getting dumped 3 days into the year, but I put on a brave face. It wasn’t all bad, I was living in the house of trouser with friends, and did have some good times (a couple of nights out and my birthday, sans the rejection email). But the whole eating shit, drinking loads and working in a high stress job with no rest eventually took it’s toll on me.
Hate to say it, but that was a defining moment for me. When you’re lying in a hospital bed, with wires attatched to you that you look like something from Ghost in the Shell, you look at life differently – maybe I was doing too much, and chasing the almighty dollar in the worst possible way. It’s horrible having people come upto you saying “ooh, we never have 22 year olds with heart trouble in here”, cheers doc, thought the NHS wasn’t supposed to judge. It still effects me, my trip into hospital. I do get – uncomfortable chests every now and again, and have been pretty much burping constantly for the past two or so weeks. Normally I’d put it down to diet or something, but because of my history it does scare me a bit. However, I know that whenever I’m with friends or watching TV or something, it goes. I think it’s psychological, but I’d like to make sure, and see if the NHS can do something about it. I know it sounds pathetic, and I don’t want to do it believe me, as much as I love her to bits – my mum has been less than supportive and doesn’t understand what I’m going through.
The problem is nobody does I suppose, people do try, but unless you’ve been in my situation (22 years old and wake up one morning with heart palputations, with no real cause except circumstancial evidence such as bad diet, stress), any words (particularly “oh, just put it to the bavk of yout mind, just enjoy life!”) are little comfort. I mean, physically I’m fine – I have a half an hour walk to work every day without fail, plus 3 10 minute walks through the day (i know it’s not much, but I can do it) – it’s just mentally I’m still a little screwed from the events in April.
Ironically, in future years when I do get my head sorted, find the cause of my constant belching, and live a long and prosperous life, the trip to the hospital could be a blessing in disguise. I returned home and quit my job at the call centre. Ironically I was offered a promotion for a position that paid nearly £400 a week (which, for a 22 year old living up North is huge money) in order to stay, but at the time there were more important things to me than money. I applied for a few jobs around the North Wales area – but generally limiting myself to administration work. On one search, I did feel adventurous and look for IT jobs, and on page 14 out of 14 I found a web design job for Colwyn Bay. I applied, thinking “I’d never get it, they’d want somebody with experience”. Lo and behold after a 2 hour of the most brilliant-yet-informal interview ever, I got the job.
I don’t reallty talk much about my time in work – reason being is because my work colleagues read this blog. Truth be told I am happy there. I go through times of not enjoying it and all (everybody does), but overall I’m doing something I like doing for money. I’ve learnt so much from my work colleagues – both using software I never knew existed before (Groupmail is my baby!), and also in design (I now see things design wise and say “that’s clever”). I know for the fact that rhyswynne.co.uk would still be available and there would be no forum nor toplist if I hadn’t of got the job I am in today. So you’ve got to be greatful too! It also gave me money, and time to blog (though – contrary to popular belief – not in work: I usually blog the night before, give it a 11:00AM timestamp then publish it before work). Both of which lead to a holiday.
Ironically I first met Han on Myspace, when she joined a long dead group (this is our first ever conversation), however things kinda blossomed where – unusual for me – I kinda started e-mailing her when she was in China, just out of curiositiy (seeing if she was interesting to talk to), and she was! MSN then phone number soon followed, and I then arranged a holiday – which was originally “have a few days away near where Guy lives”, but became “see a few bloggers, especially Han”. It was at that point that actually I had begin to have a bit of a fertile spell with the ladies, getting a few dates of varying successes (which – for Han’s sake – we won’t discuss here). I’ll be honest though – and this is the truth, not me being mushy – I was prepared to let all of those dates fail because I was going to London. If Han turned out to be “just a friend”, that would be cool. However, if it turned out to be “a bit more”, it’d be unfair for everybody. I just needed to know. After two days, I knew, and was happy with the result.
It’s odd. Han and myself have spent less than a week together in person. Our relationship at the moment is usually Skype. After January 1st, I don’t know when I’d next see her. I dunno whether – even though we’ve had 2 months of going out – we’re still in “New Relationship Territory”. However, I am unbelievably happy at the moment. I tried to describe it to Sibley (who, bless him, is probably sick of me talking about the poor girl at the moment). I used a terrible euphanism: “You know when you’re walking down the street, and you see somebody, and you think to yourself ‘They….look different. Are they a celebrity?’. It’s a bit like that.”. My mates are probably sick of me talking about Han, but I don’t care. She really is fabulous and we get on fantastically when we’re together, and nearly as well when we’re apart (though blame skype for that). I know that she’ll probably e-mail this paragraph all about her with “less-than-3″ in symbolic form underneath it, I know quite a lot about what makes her tick. She’s understanding for someone so stubborn (she puts up with my “bad boyfriend woe is me” rant whenever I forget what her third favourite anime movie is), and I’m happy just talking to her and picking her brains and see what makes her tick. I share ideas with her about web pages and vice versa. She likes me belly, unmuscly arms and unbelievable geekiness. I like her gorgeous face, boobs and amazing bottom, as well as her geekiness and her humour. She makes me laugh! Christ, no woman makes me laugh! Women are the least funny gender (not racist, truth), and occasionally I feel like my luck’s going to run out, she’ll come to her senses and leave me, but then she texts me saying “we just got married…..in the Sims”. I don’t find it stalkerish, I find it amusing, because that is what Han’d do. Relationship wise, I’ve had relationships that are for a reason, and for a season. This is definitely the second one at the moment, may push into the third category eventually, but – realistically I’m just happy with a girl who I really, really like.
So, my resolutions for next year? Learn to drive and get fit. I have a reason for both now .
Happy new year everbody! This blog will be quiet for a good part of next week, but there is a very good reason for it. Some of you – be it me telling you or checking your referrals may know – but the rest of you will have to wait until 2007!