January 18th, 2007
Categories: Uncategorized

Another Childhood Memory Ruined


Over the weekend, I headed to Maplin and made a few impulse purchases. One of which was this beauty.

This is my new PC controller. Basically, I’m sick of playing my old school arcade games with a keyboard, so I thought I’d go for this orgasm with a USB cable.

I feel I must explain at this point, emulation takes a whole new level with a joypad. Without it emulation is a mild diversion, to relive past days. With one it becomes serious nostalgia fun. I’ll be honest, I haven’t been excited about video games for about 10 years, I am now. I mentioned in my last post that I played Super Metroid for ages. Well, I also played (and completed) Streets of Rage 2. This is not just a one night thing, I’ve been trying to find games from my childhood, and then play them.

One such game was a fighting game me and my mate played when we were kids. It was like a space fighting game in the style of Street Fighter 2, and we loved it. One thing was that I couldn’t remember the name of the game. A brief description on arcade@home of the game (my favourite character was a lizard/dragon man) didn’t come up with any answers. However,a quick search on Wikipedia turfed out a game called Fighting Masters, it even has a lizard/dragon character to prove I wasn’t lying.

Xenon, you can see, weighs the same as a few of the girls I see out in Llandudno, but I digress. This game, immediately had a sour taste in my mouth. The intro screen which was long, loud and you couldn’t skip it. Not good, I immediately plucked for Llandudno’s finest, and – after much button bashing, came up with two moves.

Seriously, they were the only two attacks the character had. No standard punch, nor kick. Just a jumping tail flick and fire breathing move. There was a grapple feature – which I eventually found – and I immediately saw why me and my mate loved this game and Xenon so much. It came back to me, the move was – what we (as mature 13 year old teenagers) dubbed, “The Flying Fanny Fuck”

As a 13 year old, with my hormones going apeshit and me not exactly amongst mature individuals, I se why I loved this game. However, as the mature, intelligent, career-and-Han-orientated 22 year old Welshman you see before yourselves, it’s crap. And I’m so disappointed. It feels like not only another childhood memory has been smashed (like Santa Claus not being real or Dangermouse actually being a shit TV show), but I wasted so much of my childhood playing that game.

How else have you been disappointed by your childhood?

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