February 19th, 2007
Categories: Uncategorized

Virgin Trains, Lambrini Girls and Real Dolls


You can add Richard Branson to the list of famous people who read this blog. After my ranting a couple of weeks ago saying that Virgin trains would have trouble carrying the flu virus, I was pleasantly surprised with the train down to Canterbury on Friday. Thanks to Virgin seemingly put my own personal train down from Crewe to London, that stopped nowhere between those two cities, I was a gigantic 45 minutes early for Han. And they apologised too for “any inconvenience they caused”.

Really, there was no need for the apology.

If you haven’t guessed, this is the “What happened this weekend just gone apart from that Nasty Incident on Saturday+, Certain Parts of Friday Night and Sunday Evening” (which will be blogged about tomorrow, for relevant reasons). After getting picked up from Canterbury East Station by Han, we went for tea at Nando’s. I’ve never been, it wasn’t too great food but the company (as always) was fantastic, even if I apparently scared her with my speed eating. We headed back to Han’s place to watch some TV, one of the programs was about these things called “Real Dolls”. It was perfect late night Channel 5 viewing. After watching it, Inquisitive Han had a few questions. Can you get a male real doll? What about a Japanese style one? Can you choose them to be green? A five minute internet search provided the disturbing answer.

Sunday became – I think – “Our Valentine’s Day” (though you’ll have to confirm that with Han though). There was chocolate, there was Boddies, and I also bought a bottle of Han’s favourite tipple. Don’t worry, I didn’t spend a fortune.


Yes, Han is a Lambrini girl. Don’t look at me as being cheap, she loves the stuff! Anything more expensive or with a more discerning flavour she would turn her nose up at! We snuggled up to the Star Wars trilogy and Top Gear (where a rather increasingly Lambrini’d up Han said “Marreee mee Jeremeee!”) when a noise I haven’t heard since 2nd year of Uni was heard.

The fire alarm.

I rushed outside, without a decent jacket, and froze for the next 20 minutes. The firemen came and all too, so it was dead important.


There was a female fireman too, however I didn’t see the appeal. Women, what is it with you lot and fireman? Maybe female firefighters are the darlings of lesbians and weak men, I don’t know.

This morning, before 9am, I kissed Hannah goodbye and headed home. Once again, I had a good train. However, it was 20 minutes late into Colwyn Bay.

It was a Virgin. Branson, as I know you are reading this, you are a cock.

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