To quote the first line of Eric Bischoff’s theme music: I’m back, and I’m better than ever. I suppose a lot of you have been wondering just what the hell I’ve been upto? Well, despite drinking an obscene amount of alcohol, spending an obscene amount of money and watching a hell of a lot more TV than I used to. Mainly sport, but more on that later.
One program I have been watching loads though is Crufts. It’s dominating the TV this weekend largely due to the fact that Mum and Bonnie loves it. Whilst I have been watching it, I haven’t actually been loving it. I just don’t understand it. Basically, you have all these dogs, which all look completely different from each other, and you have to pick the best. That’s like saying “here’s this apple, here’s this orange, which one is a better banana?”.
Go on, which is it?
You just don’t know! And what are they looking for in a dog? They’re not allowed to fight, jump up, and have a personality, they just have to parade around a ring. Sorry, but that’s not a dog, that’s a dog-bot. I was watching it last night and they said they were looking for Triangles. TRIANGLES! Find me a dog with a triangle on it, and I’ll find you a flying horse. It’s just pointless!
Why is this on TV, and Gamesmaster isn’t? The only redeemable feature is that it’s the only time you’ll hear the word ‘bitch’ before the watershed.
In happier news leaving work on Friday was a joy. My mum met me outside with a letter with the following logo on it. “It looked important” she said, “so I kept it to give it to you after work. You know what Bonnie’s like with letters.”
She’s right, I do know what she’s like.
If you haven’t figured it out, that’s the logo for Adbrite, an online advertising network. They had kindly paid me for hosting their ads for the past 2 years. I knew how much I was getting, and I opened it up, and took a look at my cheque, for all the pointless referral links, and penny ads I’ve hosted with them for 2 years (click to embiggen).
$12.57, which is about Â£6.50 in proper money. Effectively, I’m on Â£3 per year with Adbrite. Mongolian sweatshop workers are on considerably more than me, it’s crap! I’ll take the ads off when I can be bothered, but I’m kinda happy I’ve got the cheque. If I pay it in, I’m charged Â£9 in “transfer fees”. Effectively, this cheque is for -Â£3!
I may frame it, put it on my wall, to say “sometimes, it’s better not to whore yourself out”.