March 27th, 2007
Categories: Uncategorized

I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself


A lot has happened in 24 hours. Guy has traveled to the other side of the world, Rick – my brother – has got onto a graduate training scheme for the accountancy firm of a huge bank, and another couple of my mates have announced that they’re upping sticks to go to another part of the country, as one of them has also got onto a graduate scheme.

And that leaves me.

I’ve had a lot of time to look into my heart, and think about things. If I am to be completely, brutally honest about around here, I’m not 100% happy. It is just a realization that, in a years time, I could probably count the people who I go out for a drink with on one hand, and still have 2 or 3 fingers left over.

Anybody who knows me knows that this isn’t me. During my time at Eirias we could easily drag out 10-15 people on the lash with us, and on a good day there’d be upwards of 20 people.

The same was true in the second and third year of university. Second year drinkathons became the stuff of legends, and it was a case of everybody goes out, always.

The third year it did calm down a lot, but still my social life was still going strong. This time, though, it was more in the lounge of my house and Kimos Cafe at lunchtime, as opposed to getting wasted all the time. This continued for another year, until I moved back to Wales.

Life in Wales started good, I got a job doing what I wanted to do for my life, but a lot of my mates weren’t so lucky, and over time they started to move away from Colwyn Bay. I just feel that, now, I’m not sure I want to stay around here.

Colwyn Bay is quite depressing you know. I know you only see the bad stuff, as the fact is that most of the good, honest people are in work like me normally, but walking to get my lunchtime sarnies or getting a breath of fresh, you see people who – it appears to me – are just waiting to die. I know that’s a horrible thing to say, but that all you seem to see mostly. No young, professional, happy go lucky people.

As hard as it may seem, I’m not bitter, angry or depressed. I have just given myself a lot to think about recently. I just feel like I need to do something ambitious. Life at times feels like passing me by, with everybody else doing such exciting stuff. I need to use my little finger’s worth of ambition to grab life by the balls and work out exactly what I want to do with my life.

Failing that, I could always get drunk and do crazy shit whilst I work it out.

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