March 20th, 2007
Categories: Uncategorized

If Driving Games Were Real…


Another fact finding survey has been released on the BBC. This study interviewed 1000 and said that “Video Games can Make Bad Drivers“. Once again, video games are seen as evil, this time encouraging drivers to become more aggressive on the road.

So, with that is true, if real life were like driving games, here’s what it’d be like.

  1. It becomes physically impossible to flip your car, largely because your car is glued to the road (Gran Tourismo) or it will always land the right way up (Daytona USA). Or if your car is flipped, wait a second before it rights itself (Destruction Derby).
  2. Supercars will be unique, and you can only own them if you beat them in a race. This is nigh on impossible, unless you get in front of it and just block him into places (Ridge Racer)
  3. There are only two types of crashes you can have. Minor and Major. Minor will involve the car spinning 1080 degrees before allowing you to continue on your journey. Major will involve you and your blonde wife being thrown clear of the car, but luckily landing once again in the correct position on your seat, allowing the journey to continue (Outrun).
  4. If your engine is a 1 litre engine, it will be split into four 250ml sections. Only 1 of these will be available to you at the beginning. You need to use that fuel to drive to the checkpoint, when the 2nd portion will be available to you, and so on (Pole Position).
  5. Oh, and stopping still uses up fuel (Pole Position).
  6. Police Cars can see around corners (Driver).
  7. Cars cannot go in water, or else they’ll explode (Grand Theft Auto).
  8. If you drive fast enough, you can drive upside down, but don’t stop or else you’ll fall down (Rollcage, F-Zero).
  9. If your car is fast enough, you can go careering around the streets of famous cities without any trouble. Even go in the bus lane (metropolis street racer).
  10. Red Shells Are Deadly (Mario Kart).
  11. I’m sure you can come up with more, leave your views in the comment box.

Thankfully, Driving Games are not like this. Driving games, football games, etc. concentrate on the exact subject. When you play “Driving Games”, that’s all you do, driving. You don’t check the oil, fill it with petrol, turn the ignition key, and the rest. You drive. I think most of us realise the difference between driving on Gran Tourismo, and driving in real life.

If you do not. Tell me: how the bloody hell did you pass your test?

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