You may have seen these “What countries have you visited?” meme before. Basically, you tick a big long list of places you’ve visited/lived in, and a map is generated with those places on them. “Why have you never done one?” I hear you say. Well, truth be told, if I did, it wouldn’t be that impressive. Just to prove it, here’s mine
For Americans, Han and other people who are generally useless at geography, that red spot is the United Kingdom, the only country I have visited in the world, largely because I’ve never been abroad. The map lies too, it shows Northern Ireland being highlighted, and I’ve never been there also. Nope. England. Wales. Scotland. That’s been my exploration so far. It’s depressing, really it is. Opportunities haven’t presented themselves as, often, people’d rather go on holiday with Satan than go with me. Even when they have, I’ve used the excuse “I’m working”, “I can’t afford it”, “I’m not working”, I can’t be arsed” and probably the my classic excuse “My dad’s a milkman”. I know it sounds pathetic, but you know when you feel you’re ready to drive, I’ve never felt ready to go further than Torquay on holiday. My passport, with the exception of the odd visit to the Venue in Kent Uni, remains unused.
Until June 5th.
Rick, my brother, is quite a globetrotter, and has been known for holidaying on his own. When he came home three weeks ago I made sure I took him to the pub. I was keen to find out about his holiday plans and which company he travelled with (it’s likely I’m holidaying on my own this year), when between us and a few drinks we decided we wanted a trip to Portugal.
And, last night, we booked it. 3 days in Lisbon.
At the moment, all we’ve got are the flights. Rick is rather good at booking these things, so I’m letting him do most of the legwork. Here’s my main thoughts 12 hours after booking though.
- I do not speak a word of Portugese, know where to go, what the beers like, or indeed anything about the culture except for “It looks like a nice place”. So, internet, what should I do? Where should I go? What’s there to see? What’s “Beer please!” in Portugal?
- This is my first flight, and I’m a bit nervous. I was however nervous on the underground, and I’m a better user of it now than some official southerners. So, I’m excited/nervous. I really shouldn’t have watched Airport last night though. Soothe me internet!
Other than that, I’m looking forward to it. It should be ace! If – like me – you know fuck all about Portugal, why not do a map, and post it on your blog? It’s an easy post.
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Comments: 10 Comments
Rhys Wynne, the author of this blog, is a 20 something web designer from Colwyn Bay. 
Congrats on the holiday! That is pretty exciting.
I think the portugese for beer please is something like cerveja por favor as it’s a very similar language to Spanish.
Flying is dead easy once you have the boring check in stuff done, just lots of waiting around usually but there are lots of arcades to pass the time
It’s a good first time abroad!
I love flying. I’m a bit shakey on take off but once I’m up there I’m fine.
I am sooooooooo excited about going to Egypt in 2 months!
Plus the fact that I need to buy new bikinis as my ones from last year are too big! Wooooo!
My first flight was 9 sleepless hours to New York which was not fun. They played the worst films too like haunted mansion with Eddie Murphy… it was like torture
I don’t want to scare you but… Keep an eye out for SNAKES ON THE PLANE.
LOL they all speak english in portugal, its so touristy! theres “english pubs” everywhere!
My first flight was when I was a few months old, guernsey to england then a few months on, England – singapore (14 hours!) a 4 hour flight to portugal will be a piece of piss! but not nearly as entertaining as long haul, short hauls worse! much worse! Full of screaming children!
You have to be vicious at passport control once you get off the plane!
@celeste – My dads in egypt atm – HUGE sandstorm atm but unlike china its not dried excrement in the air :S
I can’t wait for Canada in two months
Do what every Brit does abroad.To order, shout “Two beers please” in a silly foreign accent.
Flying is fine..it’s the waiting in airports that’s the frightening bit
Remember, every one in the world speaks English but some of them don’t know it yet.
The typical solution to this is to repeat what you asked for in a steadily louder voice, again and again.
If that fails, add “eee oooo” after each word. For instance, “Twoooeeeoooo beerioo por favor”
I know where it is and that Christiano Ronaldo is from there. That’s about it…
I won’t post it in a blog. I’d look like a spoilt twat of a child (even more than I do now). I’ve been lucky enough to visit 6% of the places listed!
Planes aren’t scary, you shouldn’t be nervous of the flight. Flights are boring, I am thankful for the times we get turbulence. Mixes it up and makes it a little more interesting. Plus I love hearing 300 people go “Woohhh!” all at the same time. But It’s the airport security you have to fear… Let me know if you do the same thing; but even though I’ve got nothing on me; I can’t look them in the eye and I keep my head down and my heart starts pumping every time I have to go through them.
I hadn’t heard of Lisbon before, but it looks pretty fine and dandy. Hope you have an awesome time!
(and as if Tilesley’s comment isn’t the best on this entry! hehe)
Proud of you dude! Now get that ticket to australia booked!!!!!!!!!!!
As your going with your brother all you need to ask is (i cant spell in portugese so i’ll go for phenetically)
dos sir-vay-sos por favor!
and when they arrive
grassy-ass!
gonna have to do one of those maps too now