I’m usually the last to leave the house every morning, I manage to catch one half of the Crystal Maze, and give myself until the end of the second game in the third zone before leaving the house. Today, I was rudely interrupted from a pink thicko trying to figure out a slidey puzzle by a phone call.
“Hello?”
It was a woman, with a gorgeous young sounding voice. Well spoken, yet not posh.
“Hi, my names Jennifer, I’m ringing about the escort.”
I double took. Did she say what I thought she said. It is early.
“Beg your pardon?”
“I’m ringing about the escort.”
YES! I thought, my mates have decided to club together and buy me a lady for the day. Better yet, the word that I’m great looking, great company and a great shag has gotten out, and I’ve unexpectedly opened my own escort business for rich young businesswomen who care scarily too much about their careers. Or more than likely it’s because my dad’s selling his Ford Escort in the paper.
“Sorry! It’s already gone!”. I slam the phone down. Vile temptress teasing me.
So, in light of a comment Celeste left last week about “Sex == Comments” I ask you this: ever used your god given assets to get your own way, make money or get somebody to do something for you?
Comments: 10 Comments
Rhys Wynne, the author of this blog, is a 20 something web designer from Colwyn Bay. 
Yes. All the time. But only with the bf in a kind of flutter my eyelashes, aren’t I cute, please make me a brew kind of way.
Yup. Every time I go out. I smile and have my flirty eyes – I get served quicker at the bar. I’ve also promised my best friend that if he gets to 7 months without smoking a fag he can have 30 minutes fondle time with my boobs! Hee hee hee (he’s on 5 months without now).
Oh yes, I sometimes do that at the bar too. It just saves time.
Did I mention I was wined and dined by a fighter pilot on Friday? Mwooo ha ha ha ha ha! ;o)
I use my god given talents all the time… I don’t know where I’d be without them… I didn’t get this job based on merit.
A fighter pilot was trying to wine and dine me on friday night too… I found the whole experience very uncomfortable
I have no god given assets.
all the fucking time. It works wonders.
Like what celeste said, plonking them on the bar ensures MUCH improved service from the bar staff.
I got incredible service and deals on my hotel in NYC on the strength of a Southern accent. Being blonde and wearing shorts probably didn’t hurt either. Of course, I was a lot younger and cuter back then too.
Plonking them on the bar?! Han! You can’t possibly be saggy already! You’re only like 12 or something! ;o)
Celeste: I can assure you that Han’s chest is a gravity defying area of outstanding natural beauty.