Please continue to enter the Golden Goal Competition. Click here to enter.
Here’s a list of things that I’ve been telling myself recently.
- You are dying, but only at the same rate everybody else is. All heart palputations/headaches/sore legs/colds/shivers/constipation/loss of appetite I’ve had in the past year have been caused by viruses, me being an idiot, and other things that we get from time to time.
- You are probably not lactose intolerant, but soy milk is fucking tasty stuff, so I’ll let you off.
- No matter how many times you comment on certain blogs, the author won’t acknowledge you. These are not huge blogs that have a gazillion readers, these are blogs that are less popular than Guy’s, for fucks sake.
- I probably wouldn’t comment on said blogs if I didn’t fancy the author.
- Whenever you see an attractive runner run past your window. Getting your trainers on and running the opposite way around the estate doesn’t guarantee you’ll “bump” into them.
- Likewise, running full pelt for a mile with a dodgy leg is probably not the best thing to do before a big football match.
- Sometimes it’s better just to keep your mouth shut, as giving thoughts on sensitive issues can be dangerous.
- Some things are more important than money. Freedom and friends are two.
- Loyalty is worthless, your real friends will understand and will be happy for you.
- Your theory of posting a question at the end of every post to generate more comments it total bullcrap, as nobody commented on your last post.
- Never tell your vengeful ex girlfriend the above point, as she will comment and ruin a perfectly good blog post.
- Deluded they may be, but understand not everybody can be a Colwyn Bay FC Fan, and they won’t come halfway across the country to see you.
- Just remember the names of those of them who cannot be bothered to travel a mile for that, and next time they want something, tell them to fuck off.
- The ground may look dry, but that doesn’t mean you won’t get mud on your trainers.
- Other people may read your mail, so keep it nice and unincriminating.
- Having no e-mails is probably not a bad thing.
- Keep losing weight, you’re getting sexier, more confident and funnier, just lay off certain topics for jokes.
- You are uncool, but that’s okay. Cool is a synonym for boring. Why fit in when you can stand out?
- You’re never going to be a hugely popular blogger, that traffic spurt last week that pushed you into the top 100,000 sites on the internet (according to Alexa) was probably your own doing. Take Jem’s advice, it’s easy to manipulate it.
- You’re not going bald.
I would also apologise for the football updates, but understand it is the biggest thing that’s happening in my life at the moment, and as it’s my blog, I am allowed to talk about it. I have also added a little something to the Golden Goal Competition. There’s 2 prizes now! But this one is a surprise, so you’ll have to enter to find out what it is. Closing date is sometime tomorrow.
Comments: 16 Comments
Rhys Wynne, the author of this blog, is a 20 something web designer from Colwyn Bay. 
21. Realise that people won’t check your blog every day (although I probably do at least twice – I get bored) so won’t have chance to comment before you’ve already posted a new entry. I often intend to comment but think I’ll do it later, and by the time later comes around theres a new post already
I like the list idea. Number 5 made me laugh because I totally only began tae kwon do because of the hot instructor, but then actually loved it in the long run so it worked out well.
I tell myself number 16 quite a lot too.
Yay! No more silly comment-ungenerated questions!
In response to point 3… i comment here, so don’t worry about it. In response to point 5, running in the same direction really fast is more likely to work… you may even have a conversation… not just a perv at… well you know (no wonder you’re losing weight).
22 – The age Celeste is clinging onto because 23 is just too scary oh and I would love a trip to Wales you just need to give me more notice. I’m a busy, sought after girlie y’know!
Dude! Do you really like soy milk? I can’t have anything but it in my coffee now.
Oh and you fancy me?! ;o)
I totally agree about 23 being too scary..I am almost there too but I wanna stick to 22, it’s been a good age.
Grammar Nazi time!
“Freedom and friends are two.” Its too!
oh and I’m not vengeful! Noone commented cos it was about football!!
Sibley: Thing is, people do, and they whinge if I don’t update. I’m going to do an RSS Tutorial Post so that people don’t miss a post at all.
Debbie: Yeah, it’s bad isn’t it, joining up for something to try and pull somebody, isn’t it?
Celeste: You were invited in a general kind of way, but I didn’t expect you to come. Thanks for caring though, you really didn’t want to see me in shorts
. To echo what Debbie said: 23 sucks, 22 wasn’t much better. I haven’t had a good year since I was 21 (yes, I rate “goodness of year” with “how many shags I have”).
Ryan: I don’t fancy you.
Tilesey: You couldn’t be more wrong!
Lee: It’s gorgeous, just nice and light!
Han: You’re wrong. Freedom and Friends are two things, as there are two of them. I mean vengeful in jest
23 for me is going to be amazing – I know it will. There is so much greatness lined up this year I just don’t like the age. 22 was shit. My favourite so far has been 19 as I was single for that year thus 23 will be fabulous because I can continue snogging boys and not get attached – I don’t want to be the type of person who flits from one relationship to the next.
22 has been a bit rubbish for me. 17 was my favourite I think, or 18.
Interesting post. I enjoyed reading it.
My observations and comments:
1. Posting questions at the end of the post is bull crap.
Number 16 is true. Your first spam email may be exciting, but after a while of getting spam, it gets annoying.
Ouch! Sorry to hear that Han has become the “vengeful ex-girlfriend”!!!
Soya milk contains huge amounts oestrogen (I think), a pint is equivalent to five time the daily dose of the contraceptive pill. It can prevent women conceiving; not sure what it can do to guys. It is nice though. Just sayin’ so’s you know
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