As mentioned earlier in the week, my major concern (besides the drinking water) of Portugal is the Language. Thanks to Paulo Martins I’ve picked up a few words (namely how to say “I want to rape you”. Of all my kinks however that isn’t one of them). I have therefore rectified it somewhat by purchasing this Pocket Portugal Guide.
It’s brilliant! It’s like a travel guide and phrase book in a handy pocket sized book (and it is pocket sized, tried it on my jeans, fits as snug as a bug in a rug). Of course, large amounts of it is useless for me (I’m not much of a sailor, and haven’t got time to go fishing nor play golf), but there are a few useful words and phrases. I decided that it was better to get one, rather than do my preferred method of listening to translation podcasts, as I may be able to speak the lingo, but if it comes to reading it off a menu I’d be screwed (I’m like that with Welsh, I can understand it fluently, I can speak enough to get by, but reading or writing it? Terrible).
I feel now I’m half way towards learning enough Portugese to hold a conversation with a 2 year old. Here’s what I’ve learnt so far - in order of importance (a lot of these things have weird things over the letters, I can’t be arsed figuring the keyboard combinations to get them displayed):
Cerveja - Beer
Fala ingles? - Do you Speak English?
So as you see, I’m pretty cunning linguistically, efficient learning rather than learning phrases I will never need (”Can I send a telegram?*” please, do I look like the Queen?). However, as I said, I’m half way there. I’d like to know the following phrases in Portugese. Please.
You are very pretty, can I buy you a drink?
I don’t care if you reached the semi-finals of the World Cup, and the finals of the European Championship, the fact is that your players - whilst skillful - are a cancer on the modern game of football with your constant diving and play acting.
That’d be great, cheers!
Also, any more phrases would be appreciative (especially of the “chat-up” variety). What other phrases do you think I need?
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Rhys Wynne, the author of this blog, is a 20 something web designer from Colwyn Bay.
“você não foi carregado um homem era você?” is “you weren’t born a man were you?” which could be useful
“Já beijo um homen de Galês? Quer?”
“Olá, você é muita linda, posso compra-lo uma bebida?”
“Os seus olhos lindos me derreta… estou ficando no Hotel na quarta número , têm uma festa lá e você precisa ir!”
(And when she arrives, and there is no one else there…)
“FESTA NAS MINHAS CALÇAS!!”
(AHAHHHHAHAAHHAHA!!!)
I refuse to say them until I know what they mean!
I wish all brits put this much effort into their holiday! Noone I know learns the local language! I only learnt a few words of chinese because I recognised chouyung in the taxi drivers sentence (all my anime turned out to be useful!) and he tried to teach me some basic chinese! I’ve forgotten it all mind but I can say thankyou, waitress, bill and hello!
When my friend went to France, she took along a language book I gave her that only had dirty words in it. I asked her to please not start an international incident with it, and since France is still standing, as is Australia (her native land), apparently all is well. I don’t imagine that standard guide you have will have any of those choice words in it.
I love how in Japanese the words for cute and scary sound very similar, and I laugh at how many people have insulted someone by getting them mixed up.
The other day my Japanese boyfriend sent me a text saying “Going home now, cock for dinner”. Great, hope he meant cook!
Finally, there was a quote competition recently from to see what interesting/ridiculous things our student say. Here’s one of my favs.
[Ok just got this - in response to: What is the greatest invention of the
20th century (give an advantage and a disadvantage).
It is lime.
When we have sports festival we can understand where we should run. But if it into eye, very danger.]
So if you do make a mistake while abroad you know plenty of others are doing just the same. Just make sure you post about it so we can all have a laugh.
What? Can’t you just trust me? Ahahahahha
I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could kick you