The big video gaming news this week is that, for the first time since Carmageddon, the BBFC has Censored a videogame before release. Manhunt 2 now can not be released in the UK. I probably wouldn’t have bought the game, but I don’t beleive you should censor it. Jacob posted a better thought out rant here. Jist of my rant - BBFC suck cock.
With that in mind, here are the top 5 things that I’d like to censor.
- The Daily Mail - For the unaware, The Daily Mail is quite possibly the most evil thing on this planet. My dad reads it, and claims it’s “Unbiased, factual journalism”. I fear we may have lost him to the wannabe middle classes. I hate it, it’s sheer presence in my house makes me more xenophobic each day. Soon I’ll be starting believing horoscopes, pseudoscience and yes, not owning a house in the United Kingdom cause cancer. It gives the right wing a
badterrible name. - “Indie” Music Fans - ‘But Rhys!’, you say ‘Don’t you like indie music?’. Yes, but I don’t make a song or dance about it. Indie Music Fans whinge about how the mainstream “don’t open our eyes to new music”, yet refuse to like certain bands. I have a mate who detests me for liking Scissor Sisters. It’s not good. Again, for a better thought out arguement, read doctorvee’s post that kinda inspired me.
- BBC Have Your Say Messageboards - Basically, it’s populated by people who the BNP would think are too radical. They hate everybody, and have a knack of turning any debate into a “We Hate Blair, gays, foreigners and anybody who is intelligent.”. I now know that the intelligent people of the BBC hang out on the Magazine and the Cricket pages (Ben Dirs is a legend).
- Text Speak - Over MSN it’s bearable. Over SMS I grate my teeth as I try to understand what ‘mt’ and ‘ck’ mean, but Rick has started saying “Lol” (that’s “Lol”, not “ell-oh-ell”), when he finds something amusing. I would’ve thought he’d - you know - laugh out loud?
- 95% of Blogs - Let’s be honest now. A lot of them are shit? Unopinionated drivel posting about things you’ve read a million times before, but this time, with new affiliate referral links!
What would you like to censor?
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Rhys Wynne, the author of this blog, is a 20 something web designer from Colwyn Bay.
1. The BNP in general
2. Miserable cunts like the guy in my local paper who’s raising a petition to try and legislate against cat shit in his garden because he’s too lazy to just scoop it up and chuck it away
3. 95% of blogs - I agree, they’re crap. Particulary those with too much advertising on :p
4. BBC Radio 1 - do they really have to play the same shit every 3 hours? I mean, whatever happened to variety?
5. My work clients
I’d like to censor fat people in “skimpy” clothing. Like when you see someone who is clearly overweight as a result of carelessness, yet they still think that they look good in crop tops and tight jeans (even though most of the time no matter what jeans they wear, they look tight). Seriously, it’s gross. Just rolls of fat hanging over… blargh! They should have to walk around with big black cards to cover up the bad bits, or at least frosted glass to give a blurring effect.
The BBC have you say comments can be quite witty, especially if you click on the reader recommended list. Examples from the manhunt board:
Added: Wednesday, 20 June, 2007, 12:56 GMT 13:56 UK
Games can be a positive catalyst for social change. Plumbers were just normal workers before the Mario brothers. Now look at the rates they can charge….
Emperor Mongo
Added: Wednesday, 20 June, 2007, 12:13 GMT 13:13 UK
Maybe if you opened up your eyes to the world, life, religion, then you would be able to see a life far beyond a sitting in your isolated room playing a computer.
Extraordinary Sofia, Leeds, United Kingdom
Of course religion has never caused people to go out & kill has it?
[chrisd59], Bristol, United Kingdom
I’d like to censor George Galloway, not because of his mad political beliefs (everyone is entitled to that), just because hes generaly a prick.
I wouldn’t really censor anything … okay maybe Davina McCall.
95% of young women’s blogs.
If I had a pound for every female blog post that I’ve had to wade through where they talk about how they were on their period today or, how once they’ve finished writing this post, they’re going to go and have sex with their husband/boyfriend, I’d be bloody rolling in it.
I’d also like to censor every jumped-up, middle-class, overweight, middle-aged columnist each time they choose to spout bollocks about the benefits system when concerning the disabled and unemployed, as if they know what they’re talking about. “Gaunty” et al from The Sun can kiss my wheelchair-saddled, benefit-claiming arse.
I’d censor Bernard Manning, the fat racist…
…oh wait, god got there first
[...] Rhys has a few things he would like to censor. [...]
I am cracking up still at your comment on fat people. The black cards..roflmao… I’m glad I found your site, it’s hilarious
I’d censor George Bush, all country music, and know-it-alls.
I’d go further than censoring the Daily Mail, my life long dream is to make enough money to buy it, and then shut it down. I’d write really bad references for all the staff, and the last headline would be “Sorry, We Were Wrong About Everything”