July 11th, 2007
Categories: Uncategorized

The Drinks R Us Song


As it’s July, I thought I’d ask an important question.

How do you know if Christmas is coming?

A few people may say “Oh, the Coke Advert“, but these people are pathological liars, and jump on bandwagons. Fact is, one advert is Christmassy without even trying (even though it’s only shown at Christmas. The Toys R Us advert.

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Now, one thing that has been troubling me for the past few weeks is how to make an alternative, grown up version of the advert by changing the lyrics. Yes, I’ve been that bored at times, I’ve gone back into lyric writing.

You see, I write songs for a laugh. Well, not songs, just alternative lyrics in a Weird Al Yankovic stylee. If a band wants to take up my version of Lost Prophet’s “Last Train Home” (Entitled: “First Plane Home”. I want to make it the official song for Wales’ Rugby Team for the 2007 World Cup), please contact me.

Anyway, the theme I’m going for with the advert above it is replacing “Toys ‘r’ Us” with a three syllable pub of your choice (in my case, the Pen Y Bryn. Weatherspoons works well too), put your drinking establishment where the “______” are. This is what I’ve got so far.

There’s a Magical Place, we’re on our way there.
With Drinks in a million all under one roof.
It’s called _________.

Soon after sundown, all the men flock.
To drink themselves stupid, until twelve a clock.


Then I’m stuck. I want to go for a list of alcoholic drinks, but it must be no longer than 10 syllables long, and the 5th and 10th syllables must rhyme.

Any suggestions that work will receive royalties, if it is released.

Finishing is not a problem. It’s going to go:

There’s a pissed guy called Geoffrey, up on the roof.
It’s called ______, ________, ______!

So, if there are any budding Lennon’s to my McCartneys (I don’t want to die young), please leave their versions of the lyrics in the comment box. Thank you.

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