July 26th, 2007
Categories: Uncategorized

Three Less Than Wholesome Reasons Why I Subscribe To Your Blog

 

Recently, I broke the 100 feeds I’m keeping up with on my blog, I go to bed at night and have 50 stories to read in the morning. It’s quite intense. A lot of people deserve to be on my feedreader list, they’re either friends, blog buddies. informative blogs, or just fun to read.

However, there are a few blogs that don’t quite meet my high standard, and I have very definite reasons for subscribing to them. They’re not good reasons. They are very very bad reasons. These three reasons make me feel dirty, and I feel if I confess them, it will be one step back on the road to recovery.

1. I fancy the author
I am a blogger, but I’m also a man. If I fancy the author, I will probably subscribe to it.

Usually, the same thing happens between me and cute bloggers that I have nothing in common with and me and cute girls I have nothing in common with: I get angry at having nothing in common, depressed as the girl will be forever out of reach and end up an emotionally weaker state than before. I will overcompensate, pretend I like them, and then get all tetchy and worked up. “Why don’t they return my comments?” I often ponder, until I delete their feed from my RSS, usually after eating a whole tub of ice cream, and downing half a bottle of Jack Daniels.

I really should stop this.

Incidentally, with Han, this wasn’t the case. In fact, the little cheeky minx taught me all about the wonders of RSS.

2. You Have a Low Top Commenters Count
This is evil. I proudly display my top commenters quite high, so at least people can click on them. Not so with a lot of blogs, but usually they count as a linkback from the home page. As such, I have been known to subscribe and leave rather a lot of comments to leave me in the UEFA cup places of their list (around third or fourth), so that it counts as a linkback. Of course, sometimes this is successful, other times it’s not. Usually if I like the blog, I keep commenting, and end up more successful, and end up getting a shit load of linkbacks anyway.

3. I think your blog is rubbish
I LOVE reading shit blogs. It’s a strange thing. Shit blogs are where blogging began, and shit blogs will be where blogging ends. I’m not talking about regurgitated crap from probloggers with changed affiliate links. Oh no. That’s just far to dry. I’m talking about people who pour their hearts and souls (but not their grasp on the English language) into these information detritus. The fantastic “Who’s doing who?”, “I hate school” and “band reviews”. Often I have a piqued interest in them, and I have to subscribe because the text is usually so incomprehensible that the RSS is the best option. I forgive these miserable designs as, quite frankly though, the “shit” category on my Google Reader is fully of literary genius.

With the exception of point two though, I rarely comment on these blogs (point 1 I’m usually too shy and with point 3 I don’t know what to say), and therefore the chances are that – as you are reading this, I came across your blog for all the right reasons, so congratulations! I think you’re blog is not rubbish, and…errr…I don’t think you’re cute.

Right, as I dig myself out of a hole with my female readers, I feel that I can’t be the only blogger who reads blogs they morally shouldn’t. So, confess your blogging sins in the comment box below!

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