I can’t actually confirm whether or not the above title is a fact but I do know an attention grabbing headlines sell papers. Not that this is a paper but i’m sure it got you intrigued…. Failing that… any dirty bastards googling sheep shagging and alike should end up at this site. It’s the simple things in life which amuse us eh? For those folk who are that way inclined may i suggest:
Worryingly enough i know Rhys does (or at least did) own one of these lovely fellows! Thank fully i have knowledge of any lonely nights spent with dolly! Now for the seamless transition into my guestblog post thingy-ma-jig! For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Guy! Hello! How are you? I’m good thanks for asking. I have a very poor excuse for a blog which i am keeping whilst on my travels around parts of the world. I am currently sat in a flat in Melbourne writing this – tomorrow i leave for Perth. Should you have any desire to stalk my travels check out http://www.mcgechan.co.uk – end of plug.
Writing this isn’t as easy as i’d thought.. on one hand i could talk about great times i’ve had with Rhys but on the other hand… who wants to read that mooshy crap – Rhys.. your alright.. for a welshy
Rhys is off causing havoc around Europe so a few travel words from me:
- Say hello to anyone and everyone but be wary of those that say hello to you! Especially those that then invite you to come visit them at their flat all expenses paid for…
- Goon (cask wine) is evil and dirty and should be illegal. However, it’s as essential to backpacking as your passport! Find a brand you like and consumer as much as possible – you’ll only regret it for a few hours the next day (also buy some painkillers with the goon, you’ll appreciate them in the morning!)
- Try to remember where you live! It helps at the end of a night, and is a lot better than sleeping outside!
- Policemen who are threatening to put you in the cells because your pissed aren’t joking – get home quickly!!
- Conversations with strangers in Kings Cross (Sydney) are not a good idea. They want you to buy something you don’t want. When you say no – you will get their life history and it’s not pleasant!
- The cheapest isn’t always the best! Sometimes it’s worth spending a little bit of money so all your stuff doesn’t get knicked!!
- Learn people’s names! It’s really embarrassing when you meet them again 3 weeks later and have no idea who they are after you spent 4 days travelling with them!!
- Pack the essentials. You won’t wear half as much as you think! Plus they do have shops and you can always buy more!
- It’s never too early to suggest going for a beer – it’s an easy way to meet people!
- Enjoy yourself. Not everyday is going to be an adventure – you will get lows, counter it with a bloody big high!
Hmm… a little more serious than i wanted but now for a Never Mind the Buzzcocks style ending… a few punchlines i wanted to include but just couldn’t fit in:
- “The sort of sexual where you’d trade your own mother for camels because you want it that badly”
- “As wrong as it would be to have sex with yourself you must be tempted just to see if your any good?”
- “Shower impotence, it’s not all bad – at least you don’t get turned on when it’s raining!”
- “Surely Sleepless in Seattle would get a whole new look if it was a narcoleptic porno?!”
And now for my tips on Adsense, how to be a better blogger and ways you can improve your number of readers…..
Oh come on! Rhys’ll be back soon enough for all that nonsense
That’ll do… i’ve been Me. You’ve been you. Not a lot’s changed – but you will never get back the past few minutes you just wasted. For that I apologise.