Photo: Making Up by magandafille. Used under the Crative Commons Licence 2.0
One of the wonderous joys about being a bloke is my efficiency, none more so than preparing to go out. I can do it quickly and efficiently and usually go from slobby Rhys to dapper, snoggable Rhys in less time than it takes to order a pizza. However, some people are unfortunate, and do not share the same efficient nature of tarting themselves up. These people are called “Wasters Of Minutes, Efficiency None.”.
Or, to give it it’s common acronym, “Women”.
The amount of time I’ve spent waiting for women to get ready is staggering. Top Gear proved you can change a car’s gearbox by the time it takes for women to get ready. I’m pretty sure you can mobilize the entire Moldovan army in the time it takes some women I know to get ready. So, before you wine and dine your girlfriend/mum/misteress, you may be waiting around watching some crap on TV, or having a game of pro evolution. Nothing productive, right?
Wrong.
Below I have listed three things to do to improve your blog whilst you’re waiting for your missus to get ready. Of course, it doesn’t have to be waiting for them to get ready, but they are simply quick and painless things to do to your blog that can be dropped easily, and you don’t have to be in any frame of mind to do them.
1. Write a few messages on some forums
Quick and brainless task, but can prove beneficial, if only to find new readers or increase the amount of linkbacks from your blog. Find a thread or two you have an opinion on and comment on it. Two which I reccommend doing are the Bloggeries Forum (if you want to build up readership of your blog), or Digital Point (if you are interested only in traffic to your blog).
2. Reply to Commenters
I’ve recently switched from emailing my replies to commenters to opening a thread, in the hope you’ll all visit this blog more (ha!), but it’s always nice I belive to appreciate your readers by replying back to the better comments. That way, people will be more inclined to return. Of course, this takes time, so you’d do good to throw out a couple of replies here.
3. Brainstorm Ideas
This post began as a set of three flickr images I wanted to use. I usually write two to three lines to begin a post, or even just a post title, of things I must say in a post. I then pad it out over time. I’m going to write more next week on writing blog posts. But brain dumping all your post ideas is a good way to get them out of your system, onto the internet, and able to return to them at a later date.
They are my suggestions, certainly beat a “Jesus Christ love, Christmas will come before you do!” which goes down like a lead ballooon. What are your suggestions for quick and easy ways to improve your blog?
In other news: Two weeks today, and Han has written the first guestpost. You can set up an account to guestpost here (with revenue sharing through Adsense too!).
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Rhys Wynne, the author of this blog, is a 20 something web designer from Colwyn Bay.
When I was in Brazil, I had a ‘girlfriend’, that used to take so long to get ready. By the time she had actually arrived to pick me up, I would have already polished off a good 5-6 beers, shit-showered-and-shaved, watched a movie, and fallen asleep.
Several times she would arrive, walk in and wake me up to go out ahahhahha
These days we gather a crowd, and whilst we wait for the girls to get ready, us boys drink as much as possible so we can save MONEY once we actually leave.
Although in a few cases, some people (erm… me) haven’t actually remembered LEAVING the house, only to have the memory kick back in several hours later feasting on a burger at HJs (Burger King).
At least I made it out the door… unlike James… never made it out!
Just out of interest what’s the difference between a girlfriend and a ‘girlfriend’??!?
I’m intrigued!
i have to be honest - since living with a girl who takes a phenomenal amount of time to get ready i find it hilarious! I don’t think i’ve ever seen someone take 3 hours to get ready before… and most of it was sitting around in her room chatting rubbish! women! are they really that useful to this planet?
Have to agree with Rhys L - it does give added drinking time and much like yourself i’ve often not remembered entire nights out.. waking up at the point when a police man wants to put me in the cells for the night for being drunk! Coogar is the devil’s work!! Evil drink
Prefer to spend the time pro-evoing or enjoying a brewski personally
“waking up at the point when a police man wants to put me in the cells for the night for being drunk”
Explain!?!?!
haha thought i’d told you about this…..
First weekend in our new flat in Melbourne…. decided we’d have a big night out - few drinks and drinking games in the flat etc etc.
Got my way through about 2 3rds of a bottle of Cougar (bourbon) with some coke…. it’s become standard before leaving the flat to play the Roxanne drinking game (put on Roxanne by the Police - boys drink every time he says Roxanne, girls on Red Light) and apparently we left the flat after that… i don’t recall getting out the lift, walking to town, visiting 3 bars, next thing i remember is having eaten a Hungry Jacks (Burger King) i was sick in a bin. (I was impressed by my aim to be honest…) Copper came over and a conversation along the lines of:
“I’m going to have to put you in the cells for the night if you carry on like that”
“Ishh oookkk mr orificer… im orf home riiiteee nuuuuwwww” (say that in a pissed voice)
I then walked quickly back to my flat (the place i couldnt find sobre on my way home from work for the past 2 nights) and ended up falling asleep on the sofa… at about 1pm… i woke up and went out again with a couple of other friends and got home about 5! And the best bit.. i didn’t drink when i went out again so sobred up and no hangover!
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I live in a house with 4 other girls..all of whom take stupid amounts of time to get ready. I take a maximum of 20 minutes and then I start pacing around getting annoyed because valuable drinking time is lost.
I’m not a very good girl in that respect.
Debbie that makes you the best kind of Girl! You should encourage more to be like you!!
Less time putting on slap more time skulling booze
I’m the same as Debbie. I take a max of 20 minutes to get ready. It’s not that hard - lippy and mascara, sexy undies, chosen outfit and shoes. The End.
how long does the “chosen outfit and shoes” take though?
That’s very true!
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Seconds because I usually think of what to wear before the event. Granted I have become faster at getting ready when I lost a load of weight. before I was a nightmare because I just felt i looked fat in everything.
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what about if you have to pop to the shops quickly to buy the outfit….. that takes a little bit longer
Of course that is an exception but how often do you get talked into staying on somewhere and then having to go out but not actually having any going out clothes?
Of course that is an exception but how often do you get talked into staying on somewhere and then having to go out but not actually having any going out clothes?
Me too Debbie and Celeste, I don’t know why some women take years to get ready. How complicated can it be? It’s not America’s Next Top Model.
So I’m coming across as a sexist stereotypical pig then?!?
Think maybe most of the women in the Bay should take even more time getting ready cause by the state of some them they should!!!!
Do those gals even know how to use a computer? That might a sign of something….
I take about 20 min to get ready also. I need to do more “Brainstorm Ideas”!
You know it doesn’t take me long to get ready Rhys! and I only own 2 pairs of going out shoes! and about 3 going out tops and 3 skirts - so its not *that* hard to choose. It just depends whether I’m having a fat day or not!
I usually drink as I’m getting ready but by the time I’d polished off half a bottle of the non-aqua schnapps I was in a pretty bad state - putting on makeup drunk is fucking hard - especially liquid eyeliner, I must’ve stabbed myself 100times!
aren’t I a good little guestblogger ^-^
I’d just like to remind Rhys and Han that Guy and I were waiting at Thorpe park for about an hour and a half for you both to show up….
You seem to forget we had to
a) Get from North London to South London
b) Go from South London to Walton
c) Make plesant conversation with Han’s folks
d) Stroke the cats
e) Go from Walton to Thorpe Park
Whilst on an empty stomach.
This was considerably more traumatic than deciding what to wear
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points a - e are all bull crap!
me and celeste had a harder journey to get there on time and we made it! after assurances from you that you’d be there on time!
poor celeste had to wait ages as none of you wanted to go on stealth! 
didn’t we all enjoy colossus thou….
You’ve never met Han’s folks…..my journey was harder.
Colossus, it was bra burstingly good!
teeheehee
We had a much longer journey thankyouverymuch AND we did it on an empty stomach AND we had a quick chat with Guy;s mum as well as Toby!
It was all worth it though when I got you soaked on the water guns. I am very good at shooting!
Ooooh! Unfair! I can get ready in ten minutes flat and it takes B HOURS.
In the time it takes my fiancee to get ready I could probably code the next Wordpress from scratch. OK that’s an exaggeration. Slightly.
PS. That W.O.M.E.N acronym won’t win you many Valentines Day cards Rhys!
Patience is a virtue, lol!
Does this mean that I should rethink finding myself a wife??
You’re a brave man, commenting on this issue!