Hello everybody. Long time readers know that at this time of year, I don my santa hat, throw my sack over my shoulder and wobble my belly like a bowlful of jelly (it’s a pain, I really should go to the gym). I love Christmas like a fat man likes pies, it’s an ace time of the year, where I partake in my two favourite activities: eating and drinking.
Yes, I’m over my November lull, and am getting more festive by the day, so much so that I’m announcing – for the first time since last year – The Great GATR Christmas Card Giveaway.
What Do I Have To Do?
Why Are You Starting This So Early?
Because a lot of my readers are from the US and Australia, so it does take time for the cards to arrive at their destination. Yes, I don’t feel christmassy, you don’t feel christmassy, none of us feel christmassy. But I don’t want my fabbo-mega-brill Christmas cards arriving in June. It’ll be more innappropriate than postcards with topless ladies being picked up by my dad (Thanks Guy for that :().
I’m Your Drinking Buddy / Friend / Ex / Sending One To You Already, Do I have To E-Mail You?
Yes, by and large for the pure and simple reason that I have no idea who I’m sending Christmas cards to anymore, as it changes every year. Some years I forget and people get angry with me, other years it’s vice versa. I don’t want the ballache of giving and not recieving, or the pain in the arse you get by recieving and not giving. So, therefore, unless you send me a card really early, or let me know, you won’t be getting one.
Of course, if I know where you live, I’ll probably just drop it off at your house instead of posting it.
What Do You Want In Return?
Nothing really. But I would appreciate a christmas card back. You see, in the run up to Christmas in school, we used to exchange christmas cards like no tomorrow, everybody exchanged cards with everybody (mainly split down the gender lines, if you gave a card to a girl you’d be in luuuuuurve with them). Now, I get sod all, and it depresses me so. As this is probably going to be my first Christmas single since 2003, I’m not even going to get one of my significant other (well, not unless I can get my arse in gear), so the chances are I’m not going to get one, which actually makes me pretty depressed.
So, when I get your e-mail, I’ll send you back my address so if you do fancy reciprocating, you can. It’s by no means necessary though!
Will You Stalk Me Now You Know My Address?
Maybe, but then you can stalk me too, and i’m a little more attractive.