My dear, darling Welshy pal has gone off to find himself an
Eastern European bride explore a distant land. Therefore, I get to do a guest post. I’m a little bit excited by this as the last time I did a guest post was probably a good 3 years ago. I did a massive post about cocks (and not the crowing kind). I don’t think Rhys would appreciate me talking about male parts here – I believe this blog is purely reserved for talking about computer things, advertising, general life as a 20 something lad and sheep.
I thought long and hard about a topic, which strangely enough is what was included in my cock post, when as if by magic I received an email from a friend telling me about her most recent mortifyingly embarrassing situation. So I thought I’d share my cringe worthy happenings with you.
I don’t tend to get embarrassed easily. I find that now and again, I go bright red when talking to people and I have no idea why but I feel my face warming up and I know I’m a nice shade of tomato. It’s a very curious thing. I mean I don’t feel embarrassed so why is my face telling lies!? Embarrassing things rarely happen to me. However, in the last couple of months I think I have had a backlog of embarrassing moments happen to make me even with the World.
It started with an incident at my work Christmas do. For full details, you can click here but for the bone idle of you, long story short; I got very, very drunk and ended up snogging the face off my work colleague. Who is in my team. Who sits RIGHT next to me. Who is theoretically my boss. Smooth. The embarrassment is that it happened right in the middle of the bar in full view of pretty much everyone.
The next not so sophisticated move was on a recent date. Luckily, I don’t really fancy the guy very much. We were out for dinner in a lovely little Argentinean place. I cannot abide people feeding me. I hate it. I had already mentioned my pet peeve to Date Boy so when our main dish was served and he insisted I try some of his, instead of thrusting a fork into my face saying ‘try this Darling’, he simply cut a piece of whatever it was and asked if I’d like to try some. I said sure and stretched across the table to grab it with my fork. A horrid smell then surfaced and it wasn’t until I sat back down that I realised I had leant over the candle and singed all my arm hair.
By far the most humiliating event to take place thus far was last week. I have recently changed my ‘no babies thankyouverymuch’ pill and one of the side affects is that my boobs have become massive. They feel huge. I’ve had to buy new bras and everything! Anyway, I was in a meeting with a load of senior people at work. I often get paranoias that people are staring at me and worry that I have mascara all over my face or something is on me that I can’t see and in this meeting I did get a few stares. I had no idea what was wrong and I willed the meeting to end as soon as possible because I felt uncomfortable. Finally, our colleagues in Japan buggered off the line and it was over. I dashed to the loo to check my face. A huge sigh of relief ensued when I found there was nothing out of place on my visage. The sigh of relief then turned into a sharp intake of breath and my heart started beating about a thousand times a minute. I realised that the top button of my shirt had popped open due to the girls being bigger and everyone in that meeting (who all happened to be male) had an unobstructed view to the bright red bra I had been wearing.
As painful as the above moments where though, my friend’s story beats them all hands down. My friend is a super busy Trader. She is all over the place. She jets all over the world and is quite possibly the most social person I know. She has recently nabbed herself a boyfriend and like all sensible people goes for a ‘Down There’ MOTs regularly. She dashed out of the office, into Boots, grabbed some ‘Down There’ deodoriser spray, rushed to the GUM clinic, nipped to the loo, freshened up and made it to her appointment with 4 seconds to spare. That evening she met with her new beau and went back to his for some “coffee”. Much kissing took place and things were progressing. New Beau made his way down, stopped, laughed, and then said ‘I see you dressed up for me’. My friend being totally confused by this asked him what he was talking about. He said ‘Well you have glitter everywhere’. It turns out that in her mad rush she had grabbed glitter hairspray from the travel bits section instead of the ‘Down There’ deodorant.
So folks, what is your most embarrassing tale?