February 14th, 2008
Categories: General

Valentine’s Day Is Rubbish

 

Who actually likes Valentine’s Day? I mean, unless you’re Mr. Thornton, Mr. Hallmark or Mr. Interflora, you don’t really like it. It’s over commercialised – a shop near me was selling 25p for a basic card, or 5 for £1 – and it is probably the only holiday on the calendar you have to endure, rather than enjoy.

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Men In Relationships - For us men, valentine’s day is torture. Despite what feminists will have you believe, we care about you, and all because occassionally we fancy going down to the pub or watch a game of football doesn’t make us a bad person. It makes us a rounded person with a lot of interests. Valentine’s Day makes us feel inferior similar to heterosexual porn and Brad Pitt, but marketing companies and women tag team on us to not only make us feel inadequate, but offer a way out of the Male Inadequate Pit by spending an astronomical amount of money to make you feel special. We don’t like it.

Women In Relationships - You never get us what we really want, instead getting us the overpriced garbage the companies are peddling, which makes us cross and disappointed, and could leave us resentful until March. Give us a badge of our favourite football club, a model of our favourite car, or a four pack of our favourite beer, it’ll be cheaper and we’d appreciate it a lot more. Don’t know what any of them are? Well, we’ve probably mentioned it a bunch of times, but you were probably too busy thinking about shoes or Ashley Cole or whatever. This makes you a bad girl friend. And not in a kinky spanky way. A terribly bad girlfriend.

Men Not In Relationships - Women don’t generally send Valentine’s cards, as I believe it makes them seem desperate and stalkerish. However, they may do, just not to me. Which is desperate. However, as somebody who is an expert at being single, I know that Valentine’s Day fills me with dread. It’s like I’m made to feel inferior for being single, plus I have to pay more for drinks and food because people eat out.

Women Not In Relationships - Not only do a lot of the principles for men apply to women, but also Valentine’s Day is made for single women. The whole reason behind the day was that men would send cards to women they fancied (well, so I have been led to believe). Nothing more than that, over the years it has become the unbearable slushfest that it is today.

The Welsh - Another sign of English opression. Dydd Santes Dwynwen Wales’ “Valentine’s Day” is on 25th January.

So, to repeat the question at the top. Do you actually like Valentine’s Day?

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