July 7th, 2008
Categories: General

Hurrah! Wimbledon’s Over!


The most painful two weeks ever in sport is finished.

I tell a lie, it’s not a sport. A sport you either have to go fast, tackle hard, or have tremendous aim to hit targets. In tennis you don’t do any of these. Instead you grunt, and hit balls over a net.

Where’s the skill in that?

The women’s game is basically there to make rude noises and to showcase foreign women in unbelievably short skirts. I can get that in Broadway in Llandudno for fucks sake. Even so, there were two men’s finals this week.

And the men’s game is even worse! Everybody complains that there are only a handful of teamsĀ  that can win the Premiership. That may be true, but nobody’s unbeatable. In tennis, it’s either one of two to win. How interesting is that? It’s obvious that only those two (Nadal and Federer) win because they’re the only two who can be bothered to train. I mean, Andy Murray only started playing tennis because he couldn’t play football.

And you can’t even get pissed to it like proper sports such as cricket. It’s over in 5 hours, and what can you drink? Pimms. Bloody posh man’s drink, for a posh man’s game, that nobody outside of London gives an arse about.

Tennis is only popular because health and safety laws means you can’t play football 52 weeks a year.

I hate tennis. Do you like tennis?

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