April 6th, 2009
Categories: General

A Way To The Man’s Heart….

 

Equality, don’t you love it? It does mean now that whilst women have inherited the good things (i.e. same pay), they’ve yet to inherit the bad things (i.e. farting).

Until now.

You see, there seems to be more and more cases amongst my friends (not with me, woe) of the women asking the man out. Hurrah! I always hated asking people out, in fact I have only done it once, and it was a resounding no. It’s the fear of rejection, the fucking up of a perfectly good friendship, and the fact that – well – asking out a woman is a bit gay.

Now though,  the women are doing the hard work now! And a list have been compiled of the top chat up lines for women on men, and 5 that don’t works. My thoughts are to the side.

Top 5 Chat Up Lines for Women to Men

1. Fancy dinner? Big one for me! A full Rhys is a sexual Rhys. Seriously, cook me a meal and I’m happy. I know it’s fairly male chauvinistic but seriously it is a nice gesture.

2. Can I give you my number?
Another big one for me! Asking a girl’s number is impossible for me, usually darting around the issue (though I have done it a few times before now). So break the ice first!

3. Do you have plans later?
Not sure on this one. Plus I’m usually busy, and wouldn’t pick up on this.

4. What are you up to tonight?
See 3.

5. Your place or mine?
Again, living with my parents would mean “yours”. I would probably mention it. You’d be turned off.

Bottom 5 Chat Up Lines for Women to Men

1. Hello, how’s it going? I hate this! Yes, I am usually a miserable sod, and the whole concept of lying is foreign to me, so you would get a miserable response.

2. Have I met you before? You look familiar.
Again, a painful one for me. I have a lot of interests that are usually completely separate from each another. As such, friend circles occasionally cross. So yes, you have seen me before, and no I can’t remember where.

3. Where have you been all my life? In the pub. Where I’m going straight after this.

4. Your shirt matches my bedspread: you belong in my bed.
Any chat up line that matches interior designing with sex is bad.

5. That’s a dangerous place you’re standing – because I’m having trouble controlling my urges.
And this is just creepy. Your urges should be controlled, not like some Hulk esque green monster.

Us men we are simple folk. Go for the jugular, be direct, and be bleeding obvious. Subtle flirting doesn’t work with men. Least of all me.

Blokes: have you been asked out by a girl? What line did they use? Did it work?

Girls: similar question, but have you ever asked out a guy?

Comments: 3 Comments

 

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