If you have been blogging for as long as I have, you’ll start noticing similarities with people you know in real life, people you look upto & people you know in the blogosphere. Surprising, the blogosphere is surprisingly like the wrestling business. People come, people go, and although people claim collaboration, in the end, people are only in it for themselves. As Britannia Wrestling’s resident blogger, here are 10 bloggers, and who they remind me in the professional wrestling world.
1. Tim Ferriss – “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
Brash & controversial, Tim Ferriss definitely chooses “The Road Less Traveled” like the Texas Rattlesnake, forming his own career path. Nowadays only makes sparodic appearances in the blogosphere (once or twice a month), but each one is greeted with more hysteria (be it fan, or comment) than most. Both know the important of hand signals.
2. Matt Cutts – Chris Jericho
The villian of the piece. Matt Cutts may not be the most liked, but certainly the most respected. Knowledgeable, “Y2M” is certainly respected by large swathes of the blogosphere, even if his words bring a chorous of “booos” of some sections of the SEO/blogging community. Not that it matters, as Matt Cutts knows what he’s talking about. Deal with it.
3. Darren Rowse – “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase
It seems a bit weird to link the manically Million Doller Man to friendly Darren Rowse of Problogger – after all, apart from the “Money” connection, there isn’t really a link. Well, both have done some work with churches, and are well respected and liked by the respective industry insiders & fans. So whilst the Million Dollar Man may not have anything in common with Darren Rowse, Ted Dibiase does.
4. John Chow – Kevin Nash
Technically not the best (both will admit that), both these characters have been at the top of their game for a long time, furthermore both have the same justification of being in their respective field – they in it for the money.
5. Kate Gilby – Mick Foley
I mean this in the nicest possible way!
They are always there and about, if not setting the world alight, both are well known for being one thing – a fantastic writer. Well loved, known by everybody, and only now enjoying tremendous success. I know Kate is thankfully lacking facial hair, and I’m not sure if she wears Foley’s trademark Fruit of the Looms & red flannel shirt, but other than that (and the latter’s willing to throw himself from 30 ft high steel structures, fire, and willing bloodletting), there are a number of similarities between Mrs. Foley’s baby boy and Kate.
6. Daniel Scocco – Santino Marella
Pardon my stereotypical nature of this one, but because he’s the leading Italian in their respective field. Thankfully, Daniel’s grasp of English is far better than Santino’s. Although I haven’t sold it well to Daniel, be pleased, as you would have the (second) best entrance music of anybody here!
7. Fern Treacy – William Regal/Brutus Magnus/Doug Williams (or indeed any English Expat with a stupid accent).
I’m going to say this one, as well as being an expat, they sound nothing like they should. Fern is a west country lass, and despite liking “Coida” and “Comboine ‘Arvistas”, she sounds nothing like Worzel Gummidge. So, I’m going to lump her with William Regal (from Blackpool), Brutus Magnus (from Norfolk) & Doug Williams (admittedly, from Berkshire), all three after starting wrestling in the US, suddenly developed a rich toff upper class accent. As all English people seem to speak like that.
8. Jemjabella – CM Punk
Although probably on a self imposed alcohol, drug & cigarette probation, on the account that she is 8 months pregnant, Jem has a hell of a lot in common with WWE’s resident straight-edge superstar. Her blog has never been one for alcohol binges and I’m fairly sure she doesn’t smoke. However, it’s not just this, they’re both straight talking, often getting the ire of certain, less mature people. But listen up, because she is an elite PHP ninja, and he doesn’t drink, they are both “Ultimately, better than you.”.
9. Melissa – Rowdy Roddy Piper
Both are Scottish (though RRP only plays a Scotsman, and as such doesn’t have a Scottish accent, see #7), and both don’t perform as much as they used to. I just fear that if Melissa and Roddy Piper ever met, especially with Melissa’s smoking habit, she’d end up getting extinguished like Morton Downey Jr. at Wrestlemania.
10. Rhys Wynne – “The Word” Rudy Wynne
Seems logical, as despite being a mild mannered Welshie who is okay at SEO, getting better at PHP and couldn’t linkbait his way out of a wet paper bag, by night I’m “The Word” Rudy Wynne, a arrogent arse who makes people’s life misery with his band of thugs beating people up, yelling at the fans, and generally being a cowardly little pillock.
Who said wrestlers weren’t that far from their real life personas?
If you, your blog or your blogging persona was a pro wrestler, who would it be, and why?